Clearing Old Hatred Towards Her Ex-Husband

by Christine Metawati
www.mettacenter.com
Oakland, California

I was working with Helen (not her real name) on the issue of anger and hatred towards ex-husband. She has been divorced over 25 years ago and she wanted to be over this old anger.

While she is not in touch with her ex anymore, her children as well as some of her friends and family members still are. She has found herself quite upset whenever his name was mentioned in her conversations with friends, family or her children, or when people asked her how her ex was doing. She wished to be neutral whenever his name was said aloud by anyone. She thought that the only way she could be free from this annoying situation was if the ex-husband died, because then people would stop asking her about him.

We have worked on releasing the anger towards her ex in previous EFT sessions where we worked on many specific events. But, obviously, here’s a new aspect and there’s more work to do.

So, we tapped:

“Even though I should be over this anger, and yet I am not, I forgive and accept myself right now.”
“Even though I am so angry at ___(name of husband), I want to be neutral when I heard his name.”
“Even though it is impossible to get over this hatred and anger towards him, I accept myself anyway. I did the best I could.”
“Even though I am guilty of wishing him dead, because I don’t think I can feel free until then, I accept myself anyway.”

Then as we tapped the various EFT points, I was just rambling on: “So angry at (ex-husband’s name)”, “Wish he were dead,” “No, I don’t wish he were dead! I don’t want to wish anyone that!”, “This (ex-husband’s name) hatred,” “This unfinished ever-present anger…” Helen suddenly exclaimed, “I feel guilty releasing this anger!”

We were both a little confused with this new information. In a flash of clarity, I saw that the anger and hatred she was feeling towards her ex was not hers. It was as if a part of her was “bullied” into carrying and holding onto this anger and hatred. Bullying was her ex’s habit in their marriage. Maybe the energy of anger and hatred was her ex’s and not hers? I mentioned this intuitive information to her.

Helen decided that she was no longer going to feel guilty letting go of this negativity towards her ex. So, as we tapped all over the EFT points on her, she envisioned letting the energy of anger and hatred flow out and off her. She saw, in her mind’s eye, a big huge round of energy-blob leaving her solar plexus.

After that round, she was amazed at how differently she felt. She felt open, neutral and free!

When I mentioned the ex-husband’s name in many different ways to test how she would react, and asked her to imagine her friends or families mentioning his name. She just burst out laughing!

Christine Metawati
www.mettacenter.com