I recently began using a simple little question that beautifully supports the healing outcome of an EFT session. It is usually near the end of the session when I sense the time is right to ask:

What is the kindest thing you could say to yourself about this?

After intensity and upsetting feelings have subsided, people are often remarkably wise and insightful about their situation. We can then weave their words into tapping sequences that close the session on a good note. Here are a few examples.

Overwhelmed and Stressed

My client is a student who called me because he is experiencing overwhelming stress due to an intensive summer course. Summer school packs a great deal into a few weeks and the constant pressure had him feeling anxious, panicky and having trouble sleeping, which of course hurt his ability to learn. We spent the session tapping for the anxiety in the body (tight chest, couldn’t breathe) and for all the feelings (fear, worry, anger, frustration) and for scary thoughts (“What if I don’t pass?”). At the end of the session, he felt immensely better and could take a deep breath.

So then I asked, “What’s the kindest thing you could say to yourself about this summer school experience?” He answered, “Actually, I’m pretty impressed with myself. It’s been hard but I haven’t given up. I can’t believe how much I’ve learned. And I’m halfway through, it’s going to go really fast. I can do this.”

We used his words in a tapping sequence, which then became his homework.

Even though this is really hard and sometimes I feel anxious… the truth is, I’m pretty impressed with myself! I haven’t given up. I’ve learned a lot… and it’s going fast now. I can do this.

Tapping with these thoughts on a daily basis helped him to calm down and stay more confident. As of his last report, things are going much better and he expects to pass!

Left Out and Not Belonging

I was working with an artist who had recently joined a group of painters who share studio space. Being the last person to join, she was feeling very left out of the friendships that had already formed. A shy person, she kept to herself a lot and then felt the pain of not belonging. As she said, “it feels like jr. high all over again.” This became a healing opportunity as we went back to some of the painful memories of being a shy teenager and used EFT to heal the pain and rejection. She reached a place of great compassion for her young self.

When I asked her, “What is the kindest thing you could say to yourself about the artists’ studio now?” her answer surprised me. She said, very thoughtfully, “Since I’ve been painting in the studio, my work has taken a new turn. It’s much more personal. I really think the vulnerability that I’ve felt there has opened up a new level in my art. And, actually, I’m really pleased with that.”

We ended with a supportive tapping sequence:

Even though I’ve felt the pain of being left out… not belonging… I love and accept my young self who felt that so deeply… and I’m bringing healing to this…

And even though it’s been painful to feel that vulnerability, I love the way it’s coming through in my art… I love this new level that has opened up for me… the truth is, I’m really pleased… this studio experience has helped me grow as an artist.

A Mom’s Guilt

A client I work with regularly was having some issues with her adult son. As we worked through her feelings with EFT, it emerged that she felt conflicted. On the one hand, she was always letting this son take advantage of her and that left her angry. On the other hand, the idea of setting boundaries and saying no felt completely unacceptable. So she was caught “between a rock and a hard place” on this. We dug deeper and she realized that the core emotion was guilt over some things that had happened when her son was a child.

After we worked on some specific events with EFT, and her intense guilt feelings had subsided, I asked her, “What’s the kindest thing you could say to yourself about this time in your life? You were a young single mother, coping with a divorce, all alone with a child… you were dealing with a lot.” With tears in her eyes, she said, “I would want to tell that young mother that she’s doing the best anybody could. She’s really a good mother. It was hard for my son and me both, but we got through it together. There was a lot of love there.” We ended the session with some EFT based on these positive truths:

Even though I’ve felt guilty for a long time, I want to be kind to my younger self… I want her to know that she really is a good mother… the truth is, I was dealing with so much… I did the best anybody could have done… and my son and I got through this together. Even though things were really imperfect, there was a lot of love there…

After this session, my client was able to set some healthy boundaries with her son. She no longer feels taken advantage of and better feelings are restored between them.

The Genius of the Set-Up

The EFT set-up phrase is in itself an act of kindness. We state that, even though we have these problems or difficult emotions, we accept ourselves anyway. As the above examples show, we can go even further to include positive truths and bring kindness and compassion to ourselves with EFT.

Betty Moore-Hafter offers EFT sessions by phone and by skype, as well as in person at her Burlington, VT office. She can be reached at www.CreativeEFT.com

This is a lovely little protocol to use when stressed.

You see, when you are stressed it is no good trying to create an EFT opening statement to tap on, all you will get will be a jumble of illogical thoughts, feelings, and stressed ideas about what you need to be tapping on.

You cannot create an effective opening statement while you are stressed. Stressed, confused thinking will only produce a stressed, confused statement that will only further deepen your stress and confusion as you struggle to wonder why nothing is happening.

Instead reduce your stress right down to zero by using the following protocol, then go back and think about what the real problem is and you will find the right opening statements popping into your mind in no time which will give you supremely superfast results.

What Are Freedom Spells?

The Freedom Spells were created by Silvia Hartmann to correct faulty thinking and get the energy system moving when it had got stuck using the EmoTrance aphorism: soften and flow.

The statements are created with a rhythm and a rhyme, just like spells, and act like pulses from the conscious mind which the unconscious responds to very willingly.

Here I have combined them with EFT to create an amazing protocol that reduces stress in no time and gives you the clarity and confidence to create effective opening statements for a traditional EFT session.

The EFT Freedom Spells Protocol

Take slow, deep breaths throughout and take your time with each phrase.

Tap on the Eyebrow Point while taking a deep breath in and out and say:
All of my regret, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Next point, Side of the Eye:
All of my guilt, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Under Eye Point:
All of my fear, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Under Nose Point:
All of my doubt, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Chin Point:
All of my frustration, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Collarbone Point:
All of my anger, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Underarm Point:
All of my sadness, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Karate Chop Point:
All of my hate, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

And that is all there is to it.

When To Use The EFT Freedom Spells Protocol

This is not only an effective little protocol to use when you are stressed and preparing to tap, it is also lovely to do first thing in the morning while still waking, sitting on the side of your bed.

I also like to use it if I am in a hurry or rushing to my meditation, and I do it to clear myself before I sit quietly. It’s a lovely bridge between a hectic day and the peace of meditation.

The protocol is also good to do before bed. We think we relax during sleep but this only happens if we are relaxed when we go off. This really does help to relieve stress and enable deep clear restful sleep.

You may also find yourself in the day saying the phrases to yourself as negative thoughts and emotions arrive which is an excellent time to do them rather than waiting for later.

This is one of the major benefits of all self help energy therapies to be able to use them on the spot, instantly releasing the situation to prevent further problems down the road.

Someone gets promoted above you at work:

All of my resentment, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

A red bill freaks you out:

All of my worries, I now let you go, soften and flow, soften and flow.

Accompanied by a deep breath and a surreptitious tap or massage of the collarbone point will do wonders to release the stress of the situation and let you carry on with your day.

Breathing

When you are stressed you shallow breathe, always, if you were breathing correctly, from your abdomen, you would not be stressed.

The symptoms of anxiety and panic are exactly the same as hyperventilation, caused by overbreathing quickly from the chest, which unbalances the oxygen content of the blood and creates such unpleasant feelings throughout the body and which, for many, triggers panic attacks.

A deep breath from the abdomen, so you can really feel your hand being pushed away from your body, promotes deep relaxation, very quickly.

So, throughout the protocol it’s important to take deep breaths, from the abdomen, and not to rush.

Creating a Custom Made EFT Freedom Spells Protocol

You may create your own phrases for each point, though I recommend starting with these first as I have found they work universally and are at the root of a lot of stress.

Again, if you are going to create a custom list please do not do this when stressed! This is the whole point of the exercise, to have something to tap on to relieve the stress that is causing wrong thinking. So please resist changing the statements when you are already stressed and create a custom ritual for yourself AFTER using mine first.

The best way of doing it is to tap lightly on each point and see if a thought or negative emotion comes to mind and jot these down.

I do hope you gain as much benefit from the EFT Freedom Spells as I, and many of my clients, have already received. Do not be fooled by the protocol’s simplicity or brevity. This is a powerful method to reduce stress and promote clarity creating a perfect foundation for effective change work.

Nicola Quinn
www.nicolaquinn.org

In working with a phone client, we discovered an effective way to promote serenity. I had been working with this person on fear issues and we had been making progress. In spite of the progress, there were still some persistent fears. She reported waking frequently in the middle of the night with fears. These fears would escalate and grow in her mind preventing her from sleeping well.

After tapping on those specific fears, I was led to employ the Serenity Prayer, which is commonly associated with 12 step groups. I personally have used this prayer for years and never have been in any 12 step groups. I just find that it is a terrific, universal prayer for realignment.

In doing the tapping, I suspended using the Setup (we had been tapping for some time already). I went straight to the Eyebrow Point and began:

Eyebrow—Grant me the grace to accept with Serenity…

Collar bone — to know the one from the other.

My client responded beautifully to this and it was a great way to finish our session. I have to say that having made it up on the spot, I also borrowed the benefits of this. I now use this one for myself, as well as my clients.