My client from Brazil, Cynthia, a very creative and versatile woman, came to me last year to find some relief for her “love pain.” She had tried EFT by herself with some success, but she was overwhelmed as there were innumerable issues to handle, and she felt that we wouldn’t be achieving much even with EFT.

She was trying to get over a recent break up with her abusive boyfriend. She was prone to self-sabotage and toxic relationships; was depressed and had a challenging family situation. She wanted to go back to her ex-boyfriend despite the emotional and physical abuse that he had inflicted on her. She would frequently alternate between praising her boyfriend and then verbally abusing him in the sessions. She felt anger towards herself for wanting to go back to him. Guilt, shame, annoyance, frustration, anger and a sense of betrayal, were the predominating emotions.

She despaired that she would never get rid of this cycle of abusive relationships — as she had been in another abusive relationship sometime back. The desperation to go back to him was so great that she started carrying a list of reminders regarding why she should hate him, to prevent herself from going back to him. It was compounded by the fact that she had an abusive childhood.

After a couple of sessions, she realized that she enjoyed the domination and humiliation of an abusive relationship — as she confused it with love. She thought that her being beaten up as a child was her fault. We dealt with the family abuse in the sessions along with the love pain. There were significant cognitive shifts with regard to her family abuse and reduction in her anger but the love pain did not go away. The change came only after the two significant sessions. The following are details of 2 sessions worth of affirmations that brought about an enormous change in her “love pain” state.

Even though I want him to want me, I love and forgive myself. Even though I know it may not be good for me to want him, I love and forgive myself for wanting him.

Even though I want to take revenge from him as I believe I have an upper hand in our non-existent relationship, I love and accept myself.

Even though I wanna hurt him by making him love me again and then reject him, I love and accept myself and I want to accept that my want for him is based on avenging him.

Even though I wanna hurt him and I feel horrible for wanting to hurt him even though he hurt me, I love and forgive myself.

She felt very lonely due to the lack of a stable family background:

Even though I like being alone but not being lonely…

Even though I want to go back to my boy friend because I can’t be alone and I would prefer to think of him as a good man instead of remember all the bad things that happened in the relationship, I love and accept myself. I choose to remind myself that he may be a good man but that goodness was not there when I was with him.

Even though I feel guilty for him not showing his goodness, …

She felt very guilty about walking out of the abusive relationship. At the same time she didn’t want to lose him completely and was jealous of him being with someone else:

Even though I still feel guilty for treating him badly, I choose to understand that I was protecting myself.

Even though I feel guilty that I rejected him many times and now by rejecting me he is doing the right thing because I need punishment for rejection, because I deserve punishment, I love and accept myself. I want to understand that I was trying to protect myself from pain and I didn’t intentionally want to hurt him. However, I doubt if he was really hurt.

Even though I’m jealous that somebody else may get the love that I didn’t get, I choose to be grateful that I’m out of that relationship. I want to accept that I need a respectful and compassionate relationship. I deserve that.

Slowly and steadily through EFT, she was able to get a lot of her self-esteem back. Her wanting to go back to her boyfriend went away completely by the time we had finished our sessions. Sometimes when she feels lonely, she does miss him (which is natural), but she has started dating now and is looking forward to having a healthy relationship. We also worked on her money blocks and now she is working towards getting financially independent again.

Puja Kanth Alfred
www.emofreetherapy.com

I have been using EFT with clients for several years and am continually inspired by the results. I am also aware that the swiftness and depth of “healing” can mirror the ability of the practitioner to pick up on clues, recognize different aspects and know the what/when and how of asking questions. Of course mastery of these abilities comes with practice and is exponentially enhanced by the development of intuition.

For the purpose of this article an example of uncovering a “hidden” aspect is given. Clues are identified, different aspects are made explicit and the questioning is noted.

The client in question called me recently in the midst of an emotionally devastating scenario; being blindsided by her husband’s declaration of considering marriage dissolution. Naturally Amanda (name changed to maintain confidentiality) had been shocked by the news. Our EFT session lasted for over two hours and there are far too many aspects to note each in detail here; hence the reason for using one example which was particularly revelatory, and therefore helpful to Amanda.

During our session Amanda began speaking very quickly (clue). She was cognitively “all over the place” (clue), thus many emotions / thoughts (aspects) and feelings (aspects) were being thrown into the mix. She was literally jumping very quickly from one emotion, feeling or thought to another (aspects) and was flipping between reacting to the situation and analyzing it (clue / aspects). At this point I asked her, “What is the worst that can happen?”
Although a simple question, I ask it for two reasons: (1) “Zzzzzttttt” memories or emotions — those with charge that highlight a disruption in energy — are almost always uncovered. (2) Once a worst-case scenario is met face to face and all disrupted energy charges around that are neutralized, there is often an accompanying sense of empowerment. This is especially helpful for those individuals who are facing adverse life changes or challenges.

For Amanda, her worst-case scenario was: “Him leaving, that I am not good enough for him.” Her response included more than two aspects and prompted my question: “Why do you feel you aren’t good enough for him?”
Amanda replied that she just didn’t deserve him (too general) which prompted me to ask the question in a slightly different manner: “Amanda, what is it (i.e. the reason) that makes you think you don’t deserve him?”

Her response was given with a barrage of scenarios that centered on communication. To deal with one aspect at a time I asked: “What is it that makes communicating with Dan (pseudonym) so difficult?” Amanda: “It’s just awkward when we try to have a conversation but I don’t know why.” Aha! Two separate aspects are uncovered.

The Set-up followed while rubbing on Sore Spot:

Even though having a conversation with Dan is awkward…
Reminder Phrase: “This awkwardness…”

We tapped the points including the Gamut Point. It must also be stated that sequencing varied as intuition took over. We also stayed on particular points longer as these were key points for Amanda in this session. We then used the Set-up:

“Although I have no idea why our conversations are so awkward…”
Reminder Phrase: “This not knowing…”

Amanda’s level of intensity was reduced enough to carry on (between 1 and 3). At this point I was guided to delve further into the conversation awkwardness in order to uncover additional aspects. I asked her to tell me now how she felt about her conversations with Dan:

Amanda: “Fearful.”
Me: “Describe why it is fearful?”
Amanda: “That sometimes I think that because having a conversation with him could be awkward, I just don’t want to.” Aha!

The term “fearful” was initially used but on questioning Amanda further, more aspects other than fear were emerging. I asked her how she felt about not wanting to communicate with her husband. Her answer was revelatory to both of us: “Guilty.” Her level of intensity on this was over 10. We first tried the following Set-up phase:

Even though I feel guilty…

But during the tapping, it became evident that we needed to start over, because her voice was a little flat (clue) and so I knew we weren’t on the right aspect. And that was the difference between getting few results and getting truly effective, potentially long-lasting results.

I asked her if she felt guilty or if she was guilty. Her momentary silence and sense of tension were clues that the latter was indeed the case. I intuitively knew the level of intensity was extremely elevated (a 9 or a 10). We used the following Set-up phrase:

“Even though I am totally guilty for not wanting to converse with Dan…”
I added “and I totally forgive myself…” at the end of the third Set-up round.

Incidentally, I had really put emphasis on the Set-up, and Amanda was following suit. We tapped using the aforementioned points for three or four rounds. The intensity reached a crescendo, then dropped rapidly.

I asked Amanda how she was feeling. She exclaimed that she was bowled over with such a revelation that she had no idea that it was her that was not wanting to converse with Dan. But now that she had seen that, she knew it was absolutely true; she hadn’t wanted to communicate with him.

Upon release of this guilt, I asked her if she deserved to be with Dan. Her answer was affirmative. I also asked if she was good enough to be with him. Again affirmative.

We did go on further to address issues surrounding her not wanting to converse with Dan in addition to other aspects that were uncovered during the session. At the end of the session, Amanda sounded clear, empowered, and had a decisive conclusion as to how she would practically deal with the situation. There was no charge to her current situation. She stated she felt clear-sighted and able to deal with whatever outcome transpired.

During the session with Amanda, it had become evident that her guilt had been covered by layers of reduced self-esteem — of feeling not good enough and undeserving. Yet upon discovery of her sense of guilt these issues disappeared and became a “flimsy cover” under which her guilt was hidden. After addressing Amanda’s guilt, her fear of Dan’s leaving was revisited. Amanda reported that this too had completely abated.

All too often a sense of guilt is so upsetting to us/the ego, that we unconsciously cover it with layers of gossamer emotion. Subsequently these emotions are often used to justify a sense of being undeserving or unworthy, and a picture of ourselves in created which is based on low self-esteem. EFT in the above instance was able to effectively remove the blocks to these unconscious tricks and get to the root — the guilt.

And that is the beauty of EFT. That it is so no-nonsense, so “get to the guts” of the energy disruption that when applied proficiently, EFT can swiftly uproot and fell even the “densest and most hidden of trees.”

As an endpoint, I find myself always inspired by EFT. The study and re-study of the EFT manual and resources is so instrumental in developing mastery that I would urge anyone with an avid interest to use the available resources and to practice, practice, practice. As I witness my own mastery develop with EFT I am humbled and inspired to go ever forward.

Helen P. Bressler
www.optimumevolution.com

I was working with Helen (not her real name) on the issue of anger and hatred towards ex-husband. She has been divorced over 25 years ago and she wanted to be over this old anger.

While she is not in touch with her ex anymore, her children as well as some of her friends and family members still are. She has found herself quite upset whenever his name was mentioned in her conversations with friends, family or her children, or when people asked her how her ex was doing. She wished to be neutral whenever his name was said aloud by anyone. She thought that the only way she could be free from this annoying situation was if the ex-husband died, because then people would stop asking her about him.

We have worked on releasing the anger towards her ex in previous EFT sessions where we worked on many specific events. But, obviously, here’s a new aspect and there’s more work to do.

So, we tapped:

“Even though I should be over this anger, and yet I am not, I forgive and accept myself right now.”
“Even though I am so angry at ___(name of husband), I want to be neutral when I heard his name.”
“Even though it is impossible to get over this hatred and anger towards him, I accept myself anyway. I did the best I could.”
“Even though I am guilty of wishing him dead, because I don’t think I can feel free until then, I accept myself anyway.”

Then as we tapped the various EFT points, I was just rambling on: “So angry at (ex-husband’s name)”, “Wish he were dead,” “No, I don’t wish he were dead! I don’t want to wish anyone that!”, “This (ex-husband’s name) hatred,” “This unfinished ever-present anger…” Helen suddenly exclaimed, “I feel guilty releasing this anger!”

We were both a little confused with this new information. In a flash of clarity, I saw that the anger and hatred she was feeling towards her ex was not hers. It was as if a part of her was “bullied” into carrying and holding onto this anger and hatred. Bullying was her ex’s habit in their marriage. Maybe the energy of anger and hatred was her ex’s and not hers? I mentioned this intuitive information to her.

Helen decided that she was no longer going to feel guilty letting go of this negativity towards her ex. So, as we tapped all over the EFT points on her, she envisioned letting the energy of anger and hatred flow out and off her. She saw, in her mind’s eye, a big huge round of energy-blob leaving her solar plexus.

After that round, she was amazed at how differently she felt. She felt open, neutral and free!

When I mentioned the ex-husband’s name in many different ways to test how she would react, and asked her to imagine her friends or families mentioning his name. She just burst out laughing!

Christine Metawati
www.mettacenter.com

As long as I can remember, I’ve always had seasonal allergies. My dad had allergies, so I figured I inherited them from him.

Once I moved from the west coast to here in the Midwest they began to get worse. I blamed first crop hay season in June and July. My sinuses would fill the moment I crawled out of bed and my ears, eyes and throat would itch to no end. Then once it get closer to the end of July the symptoms would lessen and I’d feel better.

A good friend involved in another arena of Energy Healing made a comment that my seasonal symptoms could very well be the result of a childhood trauma to which my body is remembering the “anniversary date”. At the time I dismissed the concept; there’s no way could something that happened to me in the past could be what is causing my snotty head today! No way! HA!

In time, I came across EFT and began a slow change in understanding to what we know is true! Our emotional body is directly linked to our physical body. I called my folks and I asked them if anything traumatic ever happened to me. I couldn’t think of anything. I was never was in the ER, no serious accidents other than the usual bumps and bruises of growing up. No unexcused deaths in the family or friends. Mom couldn’t think of anything either. So now what do I do?

The more I thought about it, the more I could feel there was something beginning to brew; something was coming to the surface but I couldn’t quite grasp it. So one day I sat with my husband and said “Lets just assume something “bad” happened and let’s use EFT to see if we can resolve whatever it is that is causing my allergies… This was mid May, and I was nearing my normal allergy season.

As we sat down to begin the search into my allergies, Scott asked me, “Do you know what traumatic event happened to you?” I said “no” and suddenly I was bawling my eyes out! Where did that come from? Now mind you, I’m not one to cry because I’m having a bad day, I’m a sap for good sad movie but I don’t cry on a whim so this sort of freaked us both out. So we tapped, and we tapped on every question Scott could think of and if it presented any sort of intensity, we tapped until I felt calm again.

Even though I don’t know what happened to me, I deeply and completely accept myself…
Even though this thing is bigger than me…
Even though I am afraid of this thing…
Even though I feel out of control…
Even though I can’t run away from this thing…”

Finally, he followed up with

Even though the idea of my mind holding the secrets is very frightening…

Again, the tears poured out and we tapped until I was truly settled and could repeat all the questions without any lingering intensity. He used his own intuition to try and unearth just what it was that had traumatized me but after 2 hours I was exhausted and, at this point, we still didn’t know WHAT it was that had happened in my childhood.

Here comes the month of June and my folks came out to visit us on the farm. We spoke briefly about EFT and all the accounts I’ve read on healing our emotional scars. When I asked again about anything traumatic happening to me and that it didn’t have to be a life and death matter, just anything that would scare a little kid is enough to set the stage. Mom then says, “Oh ya! You were scared to death of dads motorcycle when you were a toddler! He would fire it up and you would take off running through the house screaming your head off!”

Ah Ha! Bingo! I knew in my heart this was it! The moment she said “dads motorcycle” it all made sense! While growing up in California my allergies were hit and miss all year, and now in Iowa they start in early June; just when everyone gets their motorcycles out of winter storage! My body is reliving those terrifying moments! And knowing my dad, he no doubt rev’d the motor a little extra to see the little kid scream! I finally found the answer to my allergies! Needless to say I starting tapping right away! And it doesn’t matter that today I love big engines in race cars or loud motorcycles, but what happened then is still stored in my body today!

Even though I have this fear of dads motorcycle…
Even though the loud engine scares me…
Even though I love my dad, he scares me…

I tapped for everything I could think of about dads motorcycle and how it scared me, even though I don’t remember the motorcycle, my imagination had to do the work! And think about it; when little kids scream in terror what happens? They get all snotted up! I had to be on the right track with this! I just knew it! I began to see a progressive decline in my allergy symptoms. If they began to flare up I could quickly tap and they would settle down immediately.

Scott and I had been working on new fencing out in the back pasture. Each day got a little better for me. No more snotty head, no more itchy ears. But after about 2 weeks, I still would get itchy eyes. But I couldn’t figure out the connection to the motorcycle, so I tapped a question to the Universe.

Even though I don’t know what the reason is for my itchy eyes, I trust the answer will come soon…

About 2 weeks later, I suddenly recalled a day out cutting firewood with my dad and grandfather. We were driving down a rural road and as a child being expected to help work, I sat in the back seat head hanging off one shoulder staring out the side window as we drove. Suddenly I thought I saw what looked to be a hit and run victim! There was a crumpled up body laying in the tall grass on the side of the road. At first I thought that it wasn’t real so the first thought was, “don’t say anything!” Finally I screamed STOP THE CAR! Dad got out and walked back saying “hello? hello?” and the dead body began a drunken mumble to leave him alone! Dad could see his car parked off in the trees, so we guess he drove so far and was sleeping it off! Phew!

So could this memory be my missing link? Could the fear of seeing a “dead body” in the tall grass be what is causing the itchy eyes? Maybe it’s more like “whats hiding in the tall grass” was the final aspect of my allergies! The memory came for a reason! It had to be a sign! So I tapped;

Scary things hiding in tall grass…
Dead bodies in the tall grass…
Danger in the tall grass …

Bingo! The itchy eyes totally disappeared! But, I was also nearing the end of my normal allergy season so I Iet it rest and hoped that I did in fact have my allergies cured!

Now we come into the next spring so just in case, I re-tap on the fear of dads motorcycle to make sure I got every last ounce of trauma removed. Hard to say, nothing about those fears felt intense any longer, but, once June appeared, so did some allergy symptoms. Not as bad as “normal” and only in the early morning. So, there is more EFT work to do!

I was at a loss and not sure where to go with it until a fellow EFTer made a comment about my birthday being right in the middle of my allergy season. Ah Ha! Every year for 46 years, mom reminds that she went through 30 hours of labor with me! Could that be it? She was never mean about it, just a gentle joking reminder. Could this guilt of causing mom pain be another aspect of this allergy? When in doubt — tap! I also tapped on the fear and pain it must have been being the new-to-be-born and going through the 30 hours of labor!

Even though I feel guilty for causing mom all the pain…
Even though I am in pain during my birth…
Even though the bright lights and cold air scares me…

And because mom was a month pregnant with me before my parents got married, I added;

Even though it’s my fault mom had to get married…
Even though I am to blame mom had no choice but to get married so young…
Even though I was a mistake…(not that my parents ever made that claim, as the unborn child it may have been a potential thought!)

The last few remaining allergy symptoms vaporized!

At this point, I think I finally have my allergy cured. But the test once again will come next season. And if there is more to it, I know that the needed memories will begin to surface. Sometimes you can fix it all at once, but don’t fret and worry if it takes time. Just go with the flow and your body will do the detective work for you and offer up the evidence you need as you need it. I’m living proof you can heal your self!

Terri Webb