This one was a surprise issue. My partner has a huge plastic bottle into which he has been putting coins for years. It’s about half full. I don’t know how much is in there now, it hasn’t ever been counted yet. I noticed that when we moved in together I took a while before I began adding my “extra coins” to the pot. I obviously had reservations about “his” and “mine.” I logically realize this is totally silly because if I asked him for anything, he’d hand it over in a heart-beat if I needed it. I noticed this interesting emotional programming I have regarding trust in relationships.

Recently, my wallet was heavy with too much small change and I wanted to get rid of the excess. I had noticed my partner putting loonies ($1 Canadian coins with a loon on them) and twoonies ($2 Canadian coins) into the pot … as if he didn’t need them to pay for things. I compared my own habit of putting in pennies and nickels.

I’d been listening to a Mike Dooley audio program lately and he talks about acts of faith as a way to tell the universe that you’re ready for something that you don’t presently have. As I put my money into the jar this time, I decided to stretch myself as an act of faith: acting AS IF I don’t need that bit of change in my wallet to pay for things, telling my subconscious that I have more than enough elsewhere – which IS actually the truth. Apparently, however, I have an emotional part of me that DOESN’T believe that. My act of faith would be that I’d throw in my dimes as well. Sounds easy enough…

Well, I would never have imagined there could be so much resistance! I threw all my dimes in, maybe 7 to 10 of them, and I forced myself to throw in a quarter as well. I had three others that I did NOT put in.

Recognizing “Writing on My Walls”

As I sat down after doing that I immediately became aware of an emotion and a bodily sensation telling me that all was not fine. I could feel such sadness welling up and my body was physically tight with fear. Where there is fear, there is no love… and there certainly isn’t any faith. I recognized this as some of the “the writing on my walls” regarding lack of abundance.

Contrary to what I generally do with clients, I didn’t bother with any Setup phrases. Nor did I take the time to check the level of intensity. I did not believe that I had any Psychological Reversal on this issue so I simply began tapping the 8 shortcut points that I most often use: EB, SE, UE, UN, CH, CB, UA and top of head.

Phrases: This sadness about giving my money away. This sadness about putting my money in the common pot. This tightness in my body about putting my dimes in the pot. Let’s not think about the quarters. A whole quarter!

Feel like it’s no longer mine. Feel like it’s lost to me now and I might need it. What if I need it? I can’t get it back. It feels so sad. Can’t ask for it back.

I don’t know how much is mine. What is my rightful part? I might need it and I won’t have it. Such sadness, such fear, needing the money and not being able to get it back. I had it once but I gave it away. I might need it. Such fear. This sadness.

I stopped when I experienced no more distress and “Aaaaahhh, that felt better!” No more fear, no more sadness, no more tightness. It felt like a 0 out of 10. I decided to test my work by going back and throwing in the other three quarters!! I stood and watched, emotionless, as they fell into the bottle. Okay, I haven’t tried throwing the loonies or twoonies in yet but I know that some day I will and, for the moment, I am celebrating my success at bringing about quite a large shift in perspective about small change and feeling that much lighter and more enlightened.

How many little things like that do we deal with every single day of our lives? They seem so trivial yet how do they limit us? We are often not even consciously aware of them, these seemingly inconsequential thoughts and beliefs, and yet they are stressors running constantly in the background and they have an impact on our emotional and possibly even our physical well-being. What a relief and a change in our lives when we are able to remove them using EFT or any other modality for that matter. Again, all I can say is “Aaaahhhhhh!”

Tap on even the small things!

Follow Up

Follow up about 2 months later: I have since tested the work by throwing in more change which included dimes AND quarters. There was no resistance. Next step: (to paraphrase Dorothy and the gang) “Loonies and Twoonies and Bills! Oh my!”

Kelly Roughton is an EFT Practitioner and NGH Certified Hypnotherapist living in the Montreal, Quebec, Canada area. Using a good dose of humour and a lot of compassion, she enjoys working privately with clients and facilitating personal development workshops. Visit her online at www.InnerShining.com

The following case example demonstrates how, in my experience, unresolved past life trauma can influence current emotional functioning. Once my client set her goal, we used what I call a Soul Detective protocol, from my book Invisible Roots, to trace its origin to a past life trauma and then cleared the emotional disturbance from the previous incarnation by treating a reversal and then tapping on points for the organs involved with fear: stomach (under the eye), spleen (under the arm), and kidney (under the collarbone). When we release the negative life beliefs imprinted from our former incarnations, we are free to let the light of love shine through our hearts!

Love Phobia

Virginia wanted to work on her fear of totally loving and receiving unconditional love. She had difficulty really opening to loving herself and felt embarrassment around her emotions. She noticed a pattern of “checking out” in interpersonal relationships because she got afraid of being consumed.

Muscle Testing

I use clinical kinesiology, also called muscle testing, to gather information from the client’s energy system about the exact nature of the disturbance. Muscle testing is based on a very simple principle, that if one makes a true statement and tests the strength of a muscle, usually the deltoid muscle of an extended arm, the muscle will hold strong. When testing the same muscle after saying a statement that is not true, the muscle will weaken. This true-false guide gives us a way to trace the origin of the problem at hand. Muscle testing is an art, and one needs training in muscle testing to avoid the pitfalls which can cut down on the accuracy of this method. The two major factors that can interfere with accuracy are not being centered and/or trying to influence the outcome.

To check for the origin of an issue, one can muscle test the statement, “This problem has an origin in a past life trauma.” If this muscle test is strong, then double-checked by muscle testing the statement, “This problem does not have an origin in a past life trauma.” If both the client and the practitioner are centered and this muscle test is weaker, the client’s energy system indicates that past life trauma is involved.

Further muscle testing with Virginia indicated the spirit of someone who had past life trauma with her was presently influencing her because of unfinished business between their souls. In Soul Detective work we call this feature an “obsessive spirit.” The following past life emerged:

Deep Love

John, the obsessive spirit, was born in 113 B.C. on the west coast of North American in the area now called the Yukon Province in Canada. Sue, going by Virginia in this past incarnation, was three years younger than John. They loved each other very, very deeply. They married and had one child together. Their happiest times were sitting by the fire together at the end of the day.

When Sue was 23 years old, she went into labor with their second child. Foreboding arose, and she felt very uneasy. She knew that she would die during this labor in an extremely painful way, losing the new baby in the process. The little baby girl crossed into the Light right away when she died. But Sue was in such emotional turmoil about leaving John, knowing how much pain her death would cause him, that her spirit remained earthbound. She was so blinded by her agony that she was unaware that her spirit had left her body. Virginia’s soul felt the imprint of this trauma that Sue was still locked into. Deep soul love for an intimate partner had resulted in a pregnancy which caused Sue’s death. In her current life, intimacy brought Virginia fear that she would be consumed again.

2,000 Years of Patience

Because of his immense love for her, John stayed earthbound for over two thousand years and found her again in her lifetime as Virginia. He wanted this wound healed! Sue’s trauma was configured in two layers. She did not even realize that her spirit had left her body and that time had gone on without her. First, we needed to clear a reversal, and we muscle tested that the very best treatment point to clear it was at the third eye, also called the brow chakra. Virginia tapped on her forehead asking Sue to say,

“Even though I did not realize my spirit left my body and I have been locked into this agony for thousands of years, I love and accept myself.

Even though I died in the service of bringing new life to the planet, I totally and completely love and accept myself.

Even though John has been waiting for me all this time because he loves me so deeply, I love and accept myself and forgive myself for not knowing what happened.”

I used a customized procedure to muscle test for which point to tap first, then whether or not another one is needed and if so, where, etc. This customized procedure for Sue yielded just three points: under the eye (UE), under the arm (UA), and the Collarbone Point (CB). This sequence is the exact three-point sequence Roger Callahan taught in his book Five Minute Phobia Cure: Dr. Callahan’s Treatment for Fears, Phobias and Self-Sabotage (1985, Enterprise Publishing). Once Sue cleared her fear, she was ready to cross. With John and Sue walking hand in hand, their little girl came running to meet her parents in a very joyful reunion! Virginia reveled in the experience of John and Sue giving and receiving the full depth of their love for each other.

To do a spiritual cleansing of the trauma of this lifetime and all the negative imprints Virginia had been holding about loving being unsafe, I used Matrix Energetics Universal Healing Frequency number 9, “The Spiritual cleanser.” Richard Bartlett, the originator of Matrix Energetics, was given 21 universal frequencies that govern healing in the human species. Whenever I call upon one of these healing frequencies, I feel as if a band of angels specializing in that area jumps into action! One simply asks the client to call the number of the frequency that is needed at the moment. For example, number one is Vitality, number five is the essence of Universal Mother Love, and number 12 is for Energy Center Repair of chakras. The 21 frequencies feel like healing shortcuts to help clients reach their goals.

Soul Lesson

Love! Love is eternal and cannot be destroyed. Fear of experiencing this love blocks it. Nothing exists but the present moment. Although we have no way of understanding the events in our lives at the time, the outcome is love. When something bad happens, we connect it to love, but the pain and suffering is really separate. In reality, the event is just something we went through. Love is forever.

“Melanie” came to me because she wanted to work on the emotional abandonment by her father. Although she was 34 years old, smart and attractive, none of her relationships with men ever went anywhere. She saw a connection there. Even before her father gambled away all money and left the family in poverty when she was 9 years old, he had no regards for her feelings. After his divorce from her mother, she was “kicked to the curb.”

He was a man of big promises – and he never delivered. For example, he told Melanie that she could spend the summer with him, and then he casually called it off. So we first tapped on a tsunami of pain and grief and frustration:

Even though my father always, always let me down…
Even though my father said: “I don’t know what you are talking about” when I reminded him that he had promised me to spend the summer with him…
Even though there is this deep pain in my heart because my father never noticed me, never paid attention to me…
Even though I have been waiting my whole life for my father…

Getting Specific

When I asked Melanie for a specific memory, she came up with a scene when she was 7 years old: She was standing in her father’s bedroom at his bed, watching him while he was asleep, “dead to the world.” She was waiting for him to wake up, and there was nothing she could do to get his attention.

Intense feelings of sadness, being lost and utter defeat came to the surface, trapped in her thighs and pelvis.

(This memory shows that it is not always active abuse or severe trauma that hurt a child. If a static scene, an image contains the whole painful essence of a relationship, that is enough to cause deep wounding.)

When the emotional intensity came down from a 10 to a 5, I got the intuitive hunch to do a memory enrichment rather than continue tapping, and Melanie loved the idea.

A memory enrichment is an act of creative imagination that changes a painful memory into something beautiful and profoundly satisfying. This is not just turning it into its opposite, but lifting it to a higher, often metaphysical level.

Now Melanie is standing at her father’s bed, but he is waking up. He tells her how happy he is that she is there, and that he can’t wait to play with her. That feels good, but what the little girl really wants is that this lasts forever. So a Fairy Godmother shows up, waves her magic wand and asks the little girl what she wants.

“I want that the happiness with my dad lasts forever!”

“Granted,” says the Fairy Godmother.

Melanie was very happy with this and exclaimed: “I can actually have what I want! That is so strange.”

In the second session we worked on a deeper layer of the father issue that had come up during the week: the anger, the rage.

Melanie: “It was all about making himself comfortable; he never considered other people’s feelings. I wasn’t even allowed to have feelings.” The intensity was at a 10, and a memory came up.

Even though I feel this intense rage and anger, and I am infuriated when I think of my father….
Even though he promised to buy me these special sneakers, he sent me some discount brand…
Even though I am not worth it…

The intensity had dropped to a 6, and I asked her what the remaining anger was about.

Even though I always got the bare minimum, but I needed so much more…
Even though I am deeply disappointed that my father never made any effort to build me up…
Even though this remaining anger is stuck in my neck and shoulders…

Melanie was feeling much better.

The Energy Changes

At the beginning of the third session Melanie reported that she had experienced a car accident. No injuries, but the car needed minor repair. She had told her father about it in a phone call – and there something surprising happened.

“He was caring and concerned! He has never been like that before. And then, can you believe it, he just sent me a check for $1000! I am floored. That was more than the bill for the repair. He never, ever has been generous in the past.”

(I love it when things like that happen. It shows that changing the energy of one person changes the whole energy field around her.)

Kicked to the Curb

In the fourth session, we worked on a very painful father memory that Melanie titled “Kicked to the curb.”

Right after the divorce, her father picked her up from school. There was a lady sitting in the front seat, and Melanie crawled into the back. This was obviously “his lady”, but the father had never prepared her for this. Thinking of this scene, intense grief, sadness and anger were coming up for Melanie, and she felt it as heaviness in her thighs.

Even though my father just walked away from his family after the divorce, and my heart it torn…
Even though I could sense his love for this woman and he never really loved us, and that hurts so much…
Even though I was no longer daddy’s little girl, he just kicked me to the curb…

After this tapping round, Melanie had a big, though crushing revelation: “My father had no attachment to me! He probably loved me in his own way, but there was no sense of personal responsibility, emotional care, or concern. I have tried to fix myself my whole life so attachment can happen – and I am still doing exactly that with my boyfriends!”

We tapped on the shock and the devastation of this awareness, and how she has been attracting “fragments of love” over and over again. At the end, she felt profoundly different. “More feminine, more in my body. Love might just show up. I am enough.” What a breakthrough.

In the fifth session, we worked with another very painful memory: the moment when her father told her he was moving out. She was standing at a bus station with him, and he said casually: “Your dad is going away for a while”. That was it.

Even though I froze in shock when he said that…
Even though there was no preparation, I had no idea what was happening, and why…
Even though I still feel that grief and sadness and anger in my solar plexus….

The intensity went somewhat down, but not that much. So I asked her what her feelings were about the words “for a while”. (He had said that he would leave for a while). Melanie had never thought about that, and she reacted strongly to it: “This was cruel, torture. I kept waiting for him to come back, but he never did. And a part of me is still waiting.”

Even though a part of me is still waiting for my father to return…

No Longer Waiting

At the end, Melanie declared that she or any part of her was no longer waiting, and that was a huge relief.

As for the boyfriends, Melanie is no longer putting up with “fragments of love.” Recently, she talked on the phone to a “gorgeous looking” man who had caught her attention at an online dating service. He was nice, smart and charming too. However, when he said that he just wanted “fun” and not a serious relationship, she dropped him. Melanie: “I would not have done that in the past. I always tried hard to get them emotionally involved anyway, but it never worked, and I only got hurt. Stepping out of this pattern feels so good.”

Breaking up can be one of the most painful things we go through in this life. Many people carry deep scars from their divorce that never seem to heal. And some go through breakup after breakup. This is one problem area where EFT can radically improve someone’s life in an amazingly short time.

I’ve come to see “divorce recovery” as a three-part process (and by divorce I really mean any painful breakup). Of course these parts will overlap a bit, but for most of my clients they’ve resolved more or less sequentially.

The aftermath of a break-up often involves tremendous emotional distress. There may be deep hurt and anger, resentment, feelings of betrayal, bitterness, grief and sadness. For the person who broke off the relationship, there can be terrible guilt and self-doubt. These feelings can be incapacitating in their intensity at first. Even years later they may lie right under the surface, unresolved.

Phase One: Tapping Through the Storm

Dealing with this morass is what I call “Phase One.” Happily, even very straightforward EFT tends to dramatically reduce the intensity of these feelings. A single session can make all the difference here, and because the client feels so much better, it may be tempting to stop at this point. But now, with the heaviest emotions out of the way, a more subtle opportunity has arrived, to discover old patterns and make real changes.

As the storm passes, my clients often find themselves obsessing on their “ex” and on all the circumstances leading to the break up. This tends to be a very unpleasant process. The mind gets stuck on various scenes, imagining what might have been said or done differently. It also goes through endless contortions, trying to make sense of events and put itself in the right.

The feelings here may not be so raw and urgent, but the compulsive nature of this rehashing of events can be crazy making. Applying EFT to this emotional minefield is our “Phase Two.”

Phase Two: Tapping on Each Obsessive Thought

This usually doesn’t need much detective work. It’s more just working down the list, tapping on each obsessive thought in turn. This can be very productive! Often we find that problems in this most recent relationship are not new. These are recurring themes or patterns. Tapping on the most recent iteration often ends up releasing the original distress, even if it that was a childhood trauma.

Letting go of the past this way is very liberating and can have profound effects on the quality of life. Our “Phase Three” involves extending this emotional freedom into our vision of the future.

Phase Three: Looking Down the Road

After a painful break up, looking down the road can be downright terrifying. Somehow that “ex” got in under our radar. Somehow we attracted this person, trusted them and let them in to hurt us so badly. How can we trust ourselves to do better next time? Some clients want to swear off all relationships forever. Others are so desperately lonely they’ll rebound with the first person who smiles at them, often with disastrous results.

Some clients are paralyzed by the fear of seeing their ex again. They imagine seeing them arm in arm with a new lover. Sometimes there is a kind of irrational hopelessness: “This was my last chance, I’m too old to start again, I’ll never find another love like my ex.” Practical financial concerns can often add a note of panic: “I need to get a job immediately! What am I going to do?”

Once again, EFT to the rescue. All of these are tappable issues. Even getting back into the job market becomes more manageable once the anxiety is tapped away. Releasing these future fears can really open the door to a new and much better life.

Watching clients transform their very real emotional anguish into actual gratitude for this new start in life, I feel profound gratitude to Gary Craig for the gift of EFT, and to everyone sharing this gift with the world.

Rob Nelson is a Certified EFT Practitioner in Santa Rosa, California. He specializes in divorce recovery, couples counseling and trauma removal. Visit him online at www.TaprootsEnergyPsychology.com

My client, Tanya, is 45 years old and would very much like an intimate, love relationship with a man, even marriage. However, even though one part of her wants this, another part of her is resistant. She said that she tends to get into her head about it. .

I explored this with her and she expressed a lot of fear about being married and living with someone. Her fear is that she would not be able to be herself and would feel trapped

Further exploration revealed memories she had about her parents’ relationship and what bothered her about it. Her Dad had a raging temper and everyone in the house (her mom, sister, brother and herself) feared him. Her biggest fears from observing her parents were as follows.

-Her mother and, therefore, the wife had no voice. The husband had all the power.
-The wife doesn’t get to be what she wants to be
-The wife had to please her husband

We did several rounds of tapping on this.

Even though I am afraid that if I get married, I will have no voice and have to give up who I really am and what I am really interested in… I love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I am afraid that if I get married, I will feel trapped and have no power… .

Even though I am afraid that if I get married, I will have no freedom and will have to do what I can to please my husband even at my own expense … .

We tapped on the points using phrases like these: this fear of being married, it scares me, I would have to give up my power, I would have no voice, I would not be able to do what I want to do, I would have to placate my husband, I would feel trapped and that really scares me.

This brought up a lot of stuff for Tanya. I asked her to take a deep breath and checked in with her.

She mentioned that in some way she is like her mother in that she feels like she needs to overly please a man. I asked her to clarify that and she explained that when she dates a man, she usually pays for most of the bill. However, she would really like it to be the opposite way around.

After some exploration it became clear that when a man she is involved with romantically does something nice for her, she feels obligated. Yet, she really wants a man who would be somewhat chivalrous and would take care of her, including financially.

We saw that she had a subconscious belief that if a man took care of her, she would then owe this man her freedom and power. She would be beholden to him.

That was an “Aha” moment for her. And she said that was the crux of it. She felt obligated and beholden to a man she was romantically involved with.

We did more rounds of tapping on phrases like:

Even though I feel obligated if a man I am dating is nice to me because I am afraid I will have to give up my power and freedom like my mom did with my dad… I am willing to look at this differently now.

Even though I have a belief that I will have to be beholden to a man who wants to take care of me, I am open to healing this now.

Even though I have a belief that I have to placate and feel obligated to a man I am romantically involved with, especially a man who is nice to me, I can see now that it is an old belief and I am ready to look at this differently.

We tapped on the points with phrases like these: fear of having to be obligated to a man, feeling like I have to placate a man, feeling like I would have to be beholden to him. After awhile we shifted the phrasing a bit to bring in possibilities such as:

Maybe it is possible to have an intimate relationship with a man who is nice to me without feeling obligated, maybe it is ok and safe for a man to take care of me without me feeling fearful or having to give up my power.

This session cleared up a lot of confusion for Tanya, especially during her “Aha” moment. That was a big breakthrough for her. The session really helped her to see how old beliefs were getting in the way of her desire to have a committed love relationship.

Susan Eller
www.healingfromwithin.com

My client from Brazil, Cynthia, a very creative and versatile woman, came to me last year to find some relief for her “love pain.” She had tried EFT by herself with some success, but she was overwhelmed as there were innumerable issues to handle, and she felt that we wouldn’t be achieving much even with EFT.

She was trying to get over a recent break up with her abusive boyfriend. She was prone to self-sabotage and toxic relationships; was depressed and had a challenging family situation. She wanted to go back to her ex-boyfriend despite the emotional and physical abuse that he had inflicted on her. She would frequently alternate between praising her boyfriend and then verbally abusing him in the sessions. She felt anger towards herself for wanting to go back to him. Guilt, shame, annoyance, frustration, anger and a sense of betrayal, were the predominating emotions.

She despaired that she would never get rid of this cycle of abusive relationships — as she had been in another abusive relationship sometime back. The desperation to go back to him was so great that she started carrying a list of reminders regarding why she should hate him, to prevent herself from going back to him. It was compounded by the fact that she had an abusive childhood.

After a couple of sessions, she realized that she enjoyed the domination and humiliation of an abusive relationship — as she confused it with love. She thought that her being beaten up as a child was her fault. We dealt with the family abuse in the sessions along with the love pain. There were significant cognitive shifts with regard to her family abuse and reduction in her anger but the love pain did not go away. The change came only after the two significant sessions. The following are details of 2 sessions worth of affirmations that brought about an enormous change in her “love pain” state.

Even though I want him to want me, I love and forgive myself. Even though I know it may not be good for me to want him, I love and forgive myself for wanting him.

Even though I want to take revenge from him as I believe I have an upper hand in our non-existent relationship, I love and accept myself.

Even though I wanna hurt him by making him love me again and then reject him, I love and accept myself and I want to accept that my want for him is based on avenging him.

Even though I wanna hurt him and I feel horrible for wanting to hurt him even though he hurt me, I love and forgive myself.

She felt very lonely due to the lack of a stable family background:

Even though I like being alone but not being lonely…

Even though I want to go back to my boy friend because I can’t be alone and I would prefer to think of him as a good man instead of remember all the bad things that happened in the relationship, I love and accept myself. I choose to remind myself that he may be a good man but that goodness was not there when I was with him.

Even though I feel guilty for him not showing his goodness, …

She felt very guilty about walking out of the abusive relationship. At the same time she didn’t want to lose him completely and was jealous of him being with someone else:

Even though I still feel guilty for treating him badly, I choose to understand that I was protecting myself.

Even though I feel guilty that I rejected him many times and now by rejecting me he is doing the right thing because I need punishment for rejection, because I deserve punishment, I love and accept myself. I want to understand that I was trying to protect myself from pain and I didn’t intentionally want to hurt him. However, I doubt if he was really hurt.

Even though I’m jealous that somebody else may get the love that I didn’t get, I choose to be grateful that I’m out of that relationship. I want to accept that I need a respectful and compassionate relationship. I deserve that.

Slowly and steadily through EFT, she was able to get a lot of her self-esteem back. Her wanting to go back to her boyfriend went away completely by the time we had finished our sessions. Sometimes when she feels lonely, she does miss him (which is natural), but she has started dating now and is looking forward to having a healthy relationship. We also worked on her money blocks and now she is working towards getting financially independent again.

Puja Kanth Alfred
www.emofreetherapy.com

I have been using EFT with clients for several years and am continually inspired by the results. I am also aware that the swiftness and depth of “healing” can mirror the ability of the practitioner to pick up on clues, recognize different aspects and know the what/when and how of asking questions. Of course mastery of these abilities comes with practice and is exponentially enhanced by the development of intuition.

For the purpose of this article an example of uncovering a “hidden” aspect is given. Clues are identified, different aspects are made explicit and the questioning is noted.

The client in question called me recently in the midst of an emotionally devastating scenario; being blindsided by her husband’s declaration of considering marriage dissolution. Naturally Amanda (name changed to maintain confidentiality) had been shocked by the news. Our EFT session lasted for over two hours and there are far too many aspects to note each in detail here; hence the reason for using one example which was particularly revelatory, and therefore helpful to Amanda.

During our session Amanda began speaking very quickly (clue). She was cognitively “all over the place” (clue), thus many emotions / thoughts (aspects) and feelings (aspects) were being thrown into the mix. She was literally jumping very quickly from one emotion, feeling or thought to another (aspects) and was flipping between reacting to the situation and analyzing it (clue / aspects). At this point I asked her, “What is the worst that can happen?”
Although a simple question, I ask it for two reasons: (1) “Zzzzzttttt” memories or emotions — those with charge that highlight a disruption in energy — are almost always uncovered. (2) Once a worst-case scenario is met face to face and all disrupted energy charges around that are neutralized, there is often an accompanying sense of empowerment. This is especially helpful for those individuals who are facing adverse life changes or challenges.

For Amanda, her worst-case scenario was: “Him leaving, that I am not good enough for him.” Her response included more than two aspects and prompted my question: “Why do you feel you aren’t good enough for him?”
Amanda replied that she just didn’t deserve him (too general) which prompted me to ask the question in a slightly different manner: “Amanda, what is it (i.e. the reason) that makes you think you don’t deserve him?”

Her response was given with a barrage of scenarios that centered on communication. To deal with one aspect at a time I asked: “What is it that makes communicating with Dan (pseudonym) so difficult?” Amanda: “It’s just awkward when we try to have a conversation but I don’t know why.” Aha! Two separate aspects are uncovered.

The Set-up followed while rubbing on Sore Spot:

Even though having a conversation with Dan is awkward…
Reminder Phrase: “This awkwardness…”

We tapped the points including the Gamut Point. It must also be stated that sequencing varied as intuition took over. We also stayed on particular points longer as these were key points for Amanda in this session. We then used the Set-up:

“Although I have no idea why our conversations are so awkward…”
Reminder Phrase: “This not knowing…”

Amanda’s level of intensity was reduced enough to carry on (between 1 and 3). At this point I was guided to delve further into the conversation awkwardness in order to uncover additional aspects. I asked her to tell me now how she felt about her conversations with Dan:

Amanda: “Fearful.”
Me: “Describe why it is fearful?”
Amanda: “That sometimes I think that because having a conversation with him could be awkward, I just don’t want to.” Aha!

The term “fearful” was initially used but on questioning Amanda further, more aspects other than fear were emerging. I asked her how she felt about not wanting to communicate with her husband. Her answer was revelatory to both of us: “Guilty.” Her level of intensity on this was over 10. We first tried the following Set-up phase:

Even though I feel guilty…

But during the tapping, it became evident that we needed to start over, because her voice was a little flat (clue) and so I knew we weren’t on the right aspect. And that was the difference between getting few results and getting truly effective, potentially long-lasting results.

I asked her if she felt guilty or if she was guilty. Her momentary silence and sense of tension were clues that the latter was indeed the case. I intuitively knew the level of intensity was extremely elevated (a 9 or a 10). We used the following Set-up phrase:

“Even though I am totally guilty for not wanting to converse with Dan…”
I added “and I totally forgive myself…” at the end of the third Set-up round.

Incidentally, I had really put emphasis on the Set-up, and Amanda was following suit. We tapped using the aforementioned points for three or four rounds. The intensity reached a crescendo, then dropped rapidly.

I asked Amanda how she was feeling. She exclaimed that she was bowled over with such a revelation that she had no idea that it was her that was not wanting to converse with Dan. But now that she had seen that, she knew it was absolutely true; she hadn’t wanted to communicate with him.

Upon release of this guilt, I asked her if she deserved to be with Dan. Her answer was affirmative. I also asked if she was good enough to be with him. Again affirmative.

We did go on further to address issues surrounding her not wanting to converse with Dan in addition to other aspects that were uncovered during the session. At the end of the session, Amanda sounded clear, empowered, and had a decisive conclusion as to how she would practically deal with the situation. There was no charge to her current situation. She stated she felt clear-sighted and able to deal with whatever outcome transpired.

During the session with Amanda, it had become evident that her guilt had been covered by layers of reduced self-esteem — of feeling not good enough and undeserving. Yet upon discovery of her sense of guilt these issues disappeared and became a “flimsy cover” under which her guilt was hidden. After addressing Amanda’s guilt, her fear of Dan’s leaving was revisited. Amanda reported that this too had completely abated.

All too often a sense of guilt is so upsetting to us/the ego, that we unconsciously cover it with layers of gossamer emotion. Subsequently these emotions are often used to justify a sense of being undeserving or unworthy, and a picture of ourselves in created which is based on low self-esteem. EFT in the above instance was able to effectively remove the blocks to these unconscious tricks and get to the root — the guilt.

And that is the beauty of EFT. That it is so no-nonsense, so “get to the guts” of the energy disruption that when applied proficiently, EFT can swiftly uproot and fell even the “densest and most hidden of trees.”

As an endpoint, I find myself always inspired by EFT. The study and re-study of the EFT manual and resources is so instrumental in developing mastery that I would urge anyone with an avid interest to use the available resources and to practice, practice, practice. As I witness my own mastery develop with EFT I am humbled and inspired to go ever forward.

Helen P. Bressler
www.optimumevolution.com

I was working with Helen (not her real name) on the issue of anger and hatred towards ex-husband. She has been divorced over 25 years ago and she wanted to be over this old anger.

While she is not in touch with her ex anymore, her children as well as some of her friends and family members still are. She has found herself quite upset whenever his name was mentioned in her conversations with friends, family or her children, or when people asked her how her ex was doing. She wished to be neutral whenever his name was said aloud by anyone. She thought that the only way she could be free from this annoying situation was if the ex-husband died, because then people would stop asking her about him.

We have worked on releasing the anger towards her ex in previous EFT sessions where we worked on many specific events. But, obviously, here’s a new aspect and there’s more work to do.

So, we tapped:

“Even though I should be over this anger, and yet I am not, I forgive and accept myself right now.”
“Even though I am so angry at ___(name of husband), I want to be neutral when I heard his name.”
“Even though it is impossible to get over this hatred and anger towards him, I accept myself anyway. I did the best I could.”
“Even though I am guilty of wishing him dead, because I don’t think I can feel free until then, I accept myself anyway.”

Then as we tapped the various EFT points, I was just rambling on: “So angry at (ex-husband’s name)”, “Wish he were dead,” “No, I don’t wish he were dead! I don’t want to wish anyone that!”, “This (ex-husband’s name) hatred,” “This unfinished ever-present anger…” Helen suddenly exclaimed, “I feel guilty releasing this anger!”

We were both a little confused with this new information. In a flash of clarity, I saw that the anger and hatred she was feeling towards her ex was not hers. It was as if a part of her was “bullied” into carrying and holding onto this anger and hatred. Bullying was her ex’s habit in their marriage. Maybe the energy of anger and hatred was her ex’s and not hers? I mentioned this intuitive information to her.

Helen decided that she was no longer going to feel guilty letting go of this negativity towards her ex. So, as we tapped all over the EFT points on her, she envisioned letting the energy of anger and hatred flow out and off her. She saw, in her mind’s eye, a big huge round of energy-blob leaving her solar plexus.

After that round, she was amazed at how differently she felt. She felt open, neutral and free!

When I mentioned the ex-husband’s name in many different ways to test how she would react, and asked her to imagine her friends or families mentioning his name. She just burst out laughing!

Christine Metawati
www.mettacenter.com

I often use very creative guided imagery in my personal meditations. I find it relaxes me and often creates a path to insights that are deeply meaningful for me. Recently, I have been using imagery that has to do with being in an artist’s colony, more specifically at an art exhibit, themed Art of the Heart. For my purposes, there were a lot of heart images that supported my work on my own heart center. My personal work centered around my negative beliefs about being in a romantic relationship. This is not a new issue for me, but this is definitely the most creative thing I’ve done with this issue and with EFT.

As I wandered this exhibit in my mind’s eye, I felt as though there was something for me to learn or discover, but I didn’t know what. I met a being, someone I choose to call a guide, who joined me. After wandering around the different artistic expressions of the heart, I found myself alone with this guide and trying to figure out what I was supposed to learn from this. I was feeling frustrated with the meditation as it was not producing for me. I think I even exclaimed something about being sick of this old negativity.

To my surprise, my guide suggested that we tap on some of those old negative beliefs. So I found myself literally being tapped on, by this guide during my meditation and here is what we said

Set up:

Even though I have these negative beliefs, that I can’t have a romantic relationship…romantic relationships are toxic for me…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though I’m still holding on to this, I’d really like to release that…
Even though these beliefs linger on within me, I’d love to have other options…

Shortened phrases:

old negative beliefs…. no longer serve me….I want other options….

My guide and I did several rounds of tapping and I was amazed at the emotion that was brought up within me, just imagining that we were tapping. I felt energy coming to the surface and releasing. I was reminded also that any potential mates probably have similar fears to mine and I’m not alone in this.

My guide then presented this notion to tap on: “What if the right man for me is trying to come through to me?” We tapped just on that one question on all of the spots. I began feeling noticeably lighter, but also a bit of a strange sensation as well. I described that as something strange in my heart, and we decided that it was my ego squirming at this notion that the right man might be wanting to connect with me.

Then my guide began tapping on my heart center (sometimes known as the heart chakra). He asked me:

“Do you want to love this man?”

“Do you have space in your heart for this man?”

And as he tapped and I answered yes to these questions, I felt a huge release within my heart center, with tears and gratitude. I am not sure where the notion to tap on the heart came from, but it seemed to anchor this work and finish clearing the energy.

As a follow up to this, I have shared this story with some of my clients and they in turned have asked about tapping on the heart center. I’ve begun to incorporate that into some of my sessions and clients are having good experiences with it. I’m told that it “feels very good” and that it’s helping to “finish the work.”

This is just another way of getting at those really sensitive issues on one’s own — using EFT within the creativity of meditation, when you might not want to tackle the tough issue head on. EFT is just as effective in this forum, as it is in person, on the phone, with or without a practitioner guiding the process. EFT is truly that versatile.

I have long found that combining the wisdom of the Law of Attraction and setting clear intention with EFT facilitates the shift we desire. Another possible application for this is for people with limited or no range of motion in the upper body. I’ve been aware that EFT works even if we just imagine that we are tapping. This opens the use of EFT up to some folks who might not have thought about this tool. Adding the tapping within the meditative process lends more dimension and creativity to this healing tool.

Gwendolyn Evans
www.lovingself.net

Have you ever met someone that seemed nice enough on the surface, but the two of you just didn’t make a connection? Or, perhaps the opposite is true. You met someone that was completely different from you and you felt an instant connection?

Our reactions to others are based on many different aspects. We react to others based on our current mood and attitude, the time of day, the environment we are in and our past experiences. We respond to others based on their appearance, their body language and the sound of their voice. We also have an energetic response to others that we can be very conscious of or we may have a response that is unconscious to us. Based on these factors, we feel compatible or incompatible to the people in our lives.

I know for myself, I have friends that others typically don’t like. They tend to rub people the wrong way, but for whatever reasons their behaviors, actions and conversations don’t affect me like they do others. I always find it interesting that I don’t experience their behaviors as annoying. For whatever reason, our energy systems are compatible on some level.

I also remember when I was dating, I would meet men that had everything going for them. They would be smart, good-looking, funny and have a great personality, but there just wasn’t that connection. I am sure you have probably had similar experiences.

Back then, it was fine if I didn’t make a connection with someone because there were lots of guys to date, but what happens when you have to interact with people with whom the energy feels off? How do you shift the energy?

Gary Craig, creator of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) has a motto “Try EFT on Everything.” So, why not try correcting the energetic mismatch with some EFT meridian tapping?

Balancing your energy system with a person is certainly an interesting way to use EFT. In order to notice any dramatic or subtle changes, you have to be paying attention. I suggest you keep a journal and make some notes about your relationship with the people with whom you are going to balance your energy before you begin and then keep track of any changes that you notice after you have balanced the energy.

If you try this process out, you will want to “treat” each person separately. Then, if you have a group of people, say at work with co-workers and a boss, or a family unit of parents and children or siblings, you can go through the same tapping process while visualizing all of them.

Here are the steps for balancing your energy with an individual:

Imagine the person you want to balance your energy with in your mind’s eye or get a picture of them to look at while you are tapping.

Set a clear intention to balance, harmonize and align your energy with “this person.”
(Replace “this person” with their name.)

Repeat aloud this intention:

I intend to balance my energy with “this person” today. I intend to feel in alignment and in harmony with “this person.”

Begin the EFT sequence by taking in a deep breath in and as you release it out, tap on the Karate Chop point and say:

Even though I may not be an energetic match with “this person,” I intend to balance my energy with “this person” so we can bring out the best in each other.

Even though I may not be an energetic match with “this person,” I intend to come into harmony with “this person” so we can bring out the best in each other.

Even though I may not be an energetic match with “this person,” I intend to come into alignment with “this person” so we can bring out the best in each other.

Now, move to the Eyebrow point and tap and say…

Eyebrow: I choose to balance my energy with “this person”
Outside eye: I choose to be in alignment with “this person”
Under eye: I release any imbalance I have with “this person”
Under nose: I allow my energy system to come into balance with “this person”
Chin: It feels good to balance my energy with “this person”
Collarbone: It feels good to make an energetic connection with “this person”
Under arm: Any remaining imbalance with “this person”– I release it now.
Top of head: I allow my energy system to come into complete balance and alignment with “this person.”

Stop tapping. Take a deep breath in and release it out.

One round of tapping is all that should be necessary, but if your intuition let you know that you should repeat the sequence, certainly trust that voice and repeat the tapping.

This process only takes a couple of minutes to run through, so make it a practice to balance your energy system with anyone that you interact with whether you notice any energetic imbalance or not. It certainly can’t hurt and it may improve your relationship.

Here are the steps for balancing your energy with a group of people:

After you balance your energy with each person separately, imagine the group of people in your mind’s eye or if possible get a picture of them to focus on while you are tapping.

Set a clear intention to balance, harmonize and align your energy with “this group of people.” (Replace “this group of people” with “my family,” “my co-workers,” “my parents,” “my siblings” etc.)

Repeat aloud this intention:

I intend to balance my energy with “this group of people” today. I intend to feel in complete alignment and in harmony with “this group.”

Begin the EFT sequence by taking in a deep breath in and as you release it out, tap on the Karate Chop point and say:

Even though I may not be an energetic match with “this group,” I intend to balance my energy with “this group” so we can bring out the best in each other.

Even though I may not be an energetic match with “this group,” I intend to come into harmony with “this group” so we can bring out the best in each other.

Even though I may not be an energetic match with “this group,” I intend to come into alignment with “this group” so we can bring out the best in each other.

Now, move to the Eyebrow point and tap and say…

Eyebrow: I choose to balance my energy with “this group”
Out side eye: I choose to be in complete alignment with “this group”
Under eye: I release any imbalance I have with “this group”
Under nose: I allow my energy system to come into balance with “this group”
Chin: It feels good to balance my energy with “this group”
Collarbone: It feels good to make an energetic connection with “this group”
Under arm: Any remaining imbalance with “this group”– I release it now.
Top of head: I allow my energy system to come into complete balance and alignment with “this group”

Stop tapping. Take a deep breath in and release it out.

Once again, one round of tapping is all that should be necessary, but trust your intuition to let you know if you should repeat the EFT sequence several times or perhaps repeat the sequence several days in a row.

Pay attention to your relationships after you go through this process and make any notes about your observations in your journal. It is fun to see how much power of influence you have over your relationships with others.

You can also try this process out with people you don’t know personally, but who have the ability to push your buttons…bad drivers, politicians, entertainers, etc. Before you do any tapping, write down what bothers you the most about these people and then notice if you have a different reaction to them after you balance your energy system. Have fun playing with this technique.

Something to remember…

“If people around you aren’t going anywhere, if their dreams are no bigger than hanging out on the corner, or if they’re dragging you down, get rid of them. Negative people can sap your energy so fast, and they can take your dreams from you, too.” Earvin “Magic” Johnson

Don’t bother to balance your energy with this type of person. Eliminate them from your life or severely limit your exposure to them.

Kathy Atkinson