My client “Susan” had just seen the movie Precious and reported that it gave her a migraine for two days. “It really brought up a lot of anxiety,” she said.

If anyone has not seen Precious, it is a powerful movie by director Lee Daniels about an overweight, illiterate African-American teenager who is pregnant with her second child — both children the result of being raped by her father. It is a story that needs to be told and I appreciated the film very much for the way it dignifies and gives attention to this painful situation.

Susan’s history had some parallels with the Precious story. When she was very small, her mother had remarried and her stepfather had sexually abused her for years. She had done much work in therapy and had not wanted to revisit these issues with me. However, Precious gave her a chance to do some healing with EFT in an indirect way.

I asked her what had stayed on her mind about the movie, what had haunted her. “It was awful the way the mother allowed the abuse,” she said. “The mother saw it happening and didn’t try to stop it.” This was on of the most painful things about her own experience too — her mother didn’t protect her. So we tapped:

Even though that mother saw Precious being abused — her own daughter! — and didn’t even try to stop it, and that makes me feel… (she filled in) … so angry! I hate that mother! How could she do that?… I love and accept myself… and I honor all my feelings about this…

We tapped until she felt calmer about that, acknowledging of course that it was terrible for Precious to be betrayed by her own mother. Then she brought up another aspect: “It really upset me that the mother saw Precious as a rival. Instead of protecting her daughter, she hated her daughter because her own husband was attracted to her.”

Even though Precious’ mother saw her as a rival and hated her own daughter… and that makes me feel….. (she filled in with a number of feelings)… the pain of abandonment, the helplessness, the betrayal…

We tapped for all the feelings that were coming up for Susan about Precious and the mother in the film. This was the crux of it for her, even more painful than the actual incest abuse from the father. Finally, she felt much better and said she could think of the whole film without pain. Susan commented that, as much as she had been disgusted by the mother in the film Precious, who truly is horrific, she had a little more understanding of her from the film. That mother was, in many ways, just a child herself, so immature, taking out her own pain of not being loved on her daughter. So much pain. We tapped for the sadness about that. She felt okay about the movie then, and she felt relief that much of her own painful emotion around it had been released.

The beauty of the session was that Susan did not have to discuss any details of her own deeply painful experience. The movie had allowed her to connect with her own feelings without having to revisit her story. By tapping for all her feelings about Precious, she was able to bring some healing to the sensitive incest issue in her life in a way that fully respected her privacy.

I love good cinema and many times I find myself thinking about a movie for days. Now I may add some tapping. Good movies embody universal themes — why not get some cinematic borrowing benefits?

love,
Betty

Betty Moore-Hafter
www.CreativeEFT.com

A note from Betty Moore-Hafter:

Today’s article is a little different. Our recent Passionate About EFT podcast (6-14-10) featured Carna Zacharias-Miller guiding a tapping meditation to send healing to the Gulf region. We wish to share this meditation with you. Carna suggests that you say the words out loud since invocations and healing blessings are more powerful this way. Begin by tapping on the Karate Chop spot for the “even though” statements, then tap through the points as you continue. You can listen to the podcast and download the meditation portion at www.eftfree.net/podcasts (scroll down).

A Tapping Process for Healing

Even though we feel shocked, sad and angry about the Oil Spill in the Gulf,
we choose to stay calm and balanced and loving anyway.

Even though this brings so much pain and hardship to many, we open the door to healing now.

Even though there is so much negative energy coming from this and spreading way beyond the region
we decide to send waves of light and love to the Gulf and into troubled hearts everywhere.

We invoke the universal power of physical healing and spiritual wholeness now

We invoke the power of Mother Earth to clean and restore herself now

We invoke the courage and intelligence and willingness to work together in all people around the world

We open the door to profound change in the Gulf region and everywhere else now

Sending giant waves of love into the Gulf region
Sending giant waves of healing light into the Gulf region

Sending love and healing and courage to Louisiana
Sending love and healing and courage to Mississippi

Sending love and healing and courage Alabama
Sending love and healing and courage to Florida

Sending love and healing and courage all over the country
Sending love and healing and courage all over the world

Compassion, support and healing to the waters of the Gulf
Compassion, support and healing to the ecosystem of the Gulf

Compassion, support and healing to the marine life
Compassion, support and healing to the plants

Compassion, support and healing to the birds
Compassion, support and healing to all animals

Wrapping all the people in the Gulf area who lost so much, in golden light and love.
Sending them courage, perserverance, and spiritual guidance

May this be a lesson we learn well:
Renewing our stewardship of all life on this earth
Pledging to honor and protect all life on this earth

May the blessings be.

created by Carna Zacharias-Miller
www.EmotionalWellnessCoach.com

A final note: this process can be considered a form of surrogate tapping for the environment. At a time when we feel so helpless, it is something that we can do. At a time when we feel such anger and sadness about the tragedy, it is a way to transform that energy into healing care and positive vision. Surrogate tapping is powerful and our combined energies may make a difference. We would love to hear your experiences with this — comments are welcome.

Several months ago, I answered the phone to find out that someone very close to me had just been assaulted and was in a state of shock. Would I come and get her? The frightening story came out as I drove Letty back to my home. She had been walking to the bus station very early in the morning when a car screeched to a halt next to her and a big woman wearing a mask began pushing her and demanding money. Letty began crying and pleaded with the attacker who became more aggressive. Fortunately, the driver of the car spotted some other pedestrians , called off the attack and they sped away.

Upon arriving at my house, I immediately began an EFT treatment. Letty was pale, shaking and visibly upset. I first addressed the physical aspects and after 3 or 4 rounds, she quieted down and her color came back. I then proceeded with “Tell the Story Technique” and I asked her to narrate the story again. I stopped to tap when she was talking about the fear of the woman, because her upset had gone up, and we continued in this fashion, telling the story and stopping to tap when her intensity went up:

Even though I was frightened by the woman, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though the woman was pushing me and screaming at me…

Even though I could not defend myself…

Even though I was so sad that this happened to me…

Even though the driver was frightening too…

Even though I was all alone…

Even though I did not have any money to give to her…

After many rounds, Letty calmed down and was even joking about the incident. She told me she was feeling much better and would I take her home. My intuition told me that we were not done yet. Suddenly, I reached out,grabbed Letty and I screamed at her: “Give me all you got… Give me all you got!” She got red in the face and when I asked her what she was feeling, and she shouted that she was so mad at the woman for attacking her, so we tapped:

Even though I am so angry at this woman for attacking me, who does she think she is?, I
deeply and completely accept myself and I forgive myself for not being able to defend myself….

Even though I am so angry at this woman, I am ready to let go of this anger, I don’t need to keep it…

Even though I am so angry at this woman, I choose to feel safe wherever I go…

I choose to feel protected all the time…

I choose to be aware of my surroundings…

I choose to attract people who are joyful and safe…

I had Letty tell me the story again to retest and I recognized that we had covered all the issues – her emotional intensity had vanished!

I talked to Letty yesterday, and she walks to the bus station every morning. No fear or anger when I asked her about the attack. This incident with Letty reinforces to me how important it is to test and retest to make sure all issues have been addressed with EFT.

Greetings to all!

Pat Howell
www.eftmindandbody.com

Editors Note: This article is Part 3 in a series, sharing how persistent and systematic EFT can help heal the physical and emotional effects of war trauma. For a deeper understanding of the history of Cynthia’s work with Anna-Lena, you may wish to begin by reading Part 2: Anna-Lena and The Knife Attack and Part 1: Anna-Lena and These Russian Tanks in My Neck.

Session 3

Anna-Lena reported that the previous sessions were definitely positive for her. Her moral is better (less pessimistic), but the last few days she had begun having big problems with pain in the neck moving upwards to the back of the head, getting worse under stress and feeling, “like swords lancing into my head.” She feels unstable, a kind of a staggering feeling. She was also having some problems with her vision and hearing.

When I asked for the symptoms, she brought up that she had a terrible accident with her electric bicycle about 2 years before, flying over her bicycle and landing in a ditch with her head first. It turned out that a barrier tape had been removed by whomever, so the ditch could not be seen. She lay in intensive care unconsciously for two days. They told her that her brain had been injured, and afterwards she needed to have rehabilitation measures. Anna-Lena reported that her condition had improved somewhat since, but sometimes she still had problems and discomforts which she would attribute to the accident. She stated: “It is as though the shock (of the Knife Attack) brings this all up again.“

I preframed with her that it is very likely that her body shows up a new item which it wants her to deal with, and that all these experiences (Knife Attack, Tanks from Behind, this accident) have been stuck in her neck and head area. In fact, all the symptoms she related to in the beginning of this current session could be connected to this accident. I pointed out that addressing and releasing all aspects of the accident will very likely be critical for relieving the described symptoms.

I also pointed out that we still wanted to check whether there were “loose ends“ of the “Russian Tanks“ or the “Knife Attack.” She wanted to test imagining taking the subway or returning to that same subway station in the future.

I then checked the list of known symptoms from the previous sessions and it turned out that her sleeping quality had greatly improved: While she had woken up 3-4 times at night before our first session – having nightmares, being cramped and stiff – this was only happening once a night now. She also reported that when she did wake up, she would find herself pressing her head into the pillow, being stiff in particular on the left side. She stated her sleeping quality was 9 out of 10 now (very good). She also had discontinued sleeping pills.

This shows how important it is to test back regularly and ask frequently for previously reported symptoms.

An Unplanned Test

She describes how she happened to see some Russian tanks on TV. Her spontaneous reaction was to turn it off. She did have an intensity level of 3-4. I remember that her intensity was down to 0 at the end of the second session. This tells me that there must be something else in the past she wants to protect herself from – another aspect – which we can address when the time is right.

Physical Symptoms

Shoulder pain: 5
Neck pain: 8
Back of the head: 9, round spot, size of palm of her hand; currently no lancing pain but pressure, color: brown, connected feeling: danger.

The Session Unfolds

Starting with the Setup phrase and speaking of “this brown danger“ I started seeing little brown figures before my inner eyes – in uniforms associated with Nazis. Following my intuition, I mentioned this in a humorous way like: “Isn’t that funny? I see little brown uniformed figures before my inner eye and think about Nazis. Can you imagine?“

Continuing to let her in on my intuition, I began speaking and tapping:

This brown danger…all these old memories in my muscles and cells…

Within seconds Anna-Lena burst out into tears and we tap, tap, tapped… After a while I asked her what had come up, and she came out with the story about when her father was forcibly torn out of the house by the Nazis early one morning without any previous warning. She remembered him resisting vividly but having no chance. They forced him to work as a medic in military hospitals. Her father was a man of peace and a doctor, and did not want to join the war. This particular incident happened when she was a very little child (3-4 years old). She didn’t remember every detail of the situation, but she watched when the Nazis came to take him. The pain of this early loss burst out again and again, and it took some time to deal with the intense feelings. She began crying and sobbing desperately, all the feelings of this little child being fully present:

“Vati (synonym for Daddy)… I need you so much!… all this pain… Vati!!… all this helplessness… all these feelings… Vati!!… all this pain…“

Anna-Lena also reported that there had been a constant atmosphere of fear at home. They listened to BBC regularly and had to be very careful. They were in constant fear of being trapped or denounced.

Soon we addressed several aspects which were connected to this event:

I am responsible for the family… for my mother… for my little sister… I couldn’t do a thing about it… I am safe now… and my little Anna-Lena too… I don’t have to be responsible any more… I’m safe now… no more Nazis… my poor Vati… my poor Vati… he didn’t want to go there… I choose to know, that he didn’t want to leave me alone… that he didn’t want to leave my mother and my little sister alone… that he was with us always… in his thoughts… with all his good wishes… with all his love… always with us…

Even though Vati was challenged by his fate… I choose to know that all he achieved was passed down to me… his spirit of freedom and respect… and love for mankind… and I choose to know… that he did his best at the places he was placed… to keep up and live… this spirit… and that he did his best… to help men… because this is… what a good doctor does…

This overwhelming sadness… this endless sadness… (at least 3 rounds)… I take my little Anna-Lena into my arms and comfort her… and cradle her… yes… that’s what you needed then… my little Anna-Lena… no wonder you were sad… I understand this so clearly… me, the adult Anna-Lena… and I take my hat off to you… for all the power you found as a little girl…

Anna-Lena reports that she could always find this power and that others confirm how powerful she always has been in spite of everything that has happened… Working through the aspects, the charge on helplessness sank from 7 to 3, and sadness went to a 0. And then Anna-Lena said:

“A feeling of thankfulness and inner peace prevails… the inner connection remains… like a sun, which shines above all… inner power.“

She stated that her inner power had risen from 8 to 10 and added: “I receive it now. I welcome it with open arms.“

Then she reported that during the process of tapping, the back of her head started to get a bit warm and a feeling extended “as if a mountain would crumble… and permanently trickling like water pearls…“

We continued working with the crumbling and brought the former 9 (pressure on the back of the head) down to a 2, due to my persistent, “Let’s give this another try!“ But time was at end, and Anna-Lena wanted a break in spite of the remaining pressure. So I finished with a tapping phrase around being open to all the remaining pearls trickling downwards and releasing the pressure in the back of her head, and we finished for this session.

“What we’ve done today was critical,“ Anna-Lena stated when she left. “I feel deeply thankful to my father and have a stronger connection to my inner power.“

Feedback 3 weeks Later:

Anna-Lena reports that she had a 1-week-period of feeling deeply tired and exhausted after the last session: “I’ve never been so tired in my life before…” She even had someone come cook for her.

I said that it’s obvious that a lot of tensions have dissolved, and by this has made room for a huge relaxation. After releasing tension that had been going on for so long, no wonder the body needed to reorganize.

Head condition is now “definitely better.” She reported that after the tiredness had disappeared the lancing pain on the back of her head had also disappeared and since then never come back. Neck discomfort has reduced – but pain still comes back, especially in the evenings when she gets tired – a result of arthrosis (as her doctors told her) due to the bicycle accident.

Seeing and listening qualities have gradually improved since then. While staggering hasn’t improved, she explained that this may be due to possible heart valve problem.

First she claims that her sleeping quality was fairly the same but after asking it turns out that she has no more nightmares at all, only wakes up once at night to go to the bathroom and has no more tensions in her neck and no more head pressing backwards into the pillow.

More Aspects

She also reports that from time to time pictures are coming up which have to do with danger from the behind, “but the fear is not that big anymore.“ It then turns out that she has found another aspect belonging to the Knife Attack: “The moment I hear the click of the knife opening on my left ear…” We had addressed her attackers voice speaking to her already before but this detail was not in her awareness then. And there still is a more global feeling of “this moment you realize that somebody is after you.” She also states that this feeling doesn’t belong to the Knife Attack but to some older incident(s).

I point out that I suspect further progress is possible for her, especially by addressing her bicycle accident, along with any remaining aspects of the Knife Attack incident.

At the moment Anna-Lena doesn’t want “another period of tiredness to recur“ so she will wait for another session to address the remaining aspects. She also made good progress using EFT on her own.

I asked Anna-Lena to read through my report and to give her own opinion on her experiences with EFT, she sent to me her “final evaluation“ some weeks later:

Final Evaluation

“After having practiced the Emotional Freedom Technique for some time, I can truly say that it is a very effective technique. During my life I have been in therapy for longer periods several times. Therefore I feel that this very positive judgment is not given lightly. In a relatively short time my mood and feelings changed. Every time I practiced this technique my experience was that it helped a lot and gave me more and more confidence and motivation.

What I particularly like about this technique is that I can practice it whenever I want and wherever I want on practically every issue. Once you have learned the acupuncture trigger points you are no longer therapist-dependent. I appreciate this independence a lot. I am grateful Mrs. Doll was recommended to me. She guided me through the procedures with admirable intuition and attention.

I am very, very grateful to her and to Gary Craig who so generously put it out into the world. Anna-Lena, Netherlands“

Cynthia Doll specializes in EFT for trauma from her private practice in Maintal (near Frankfurt), Germany.

Read Anna-Lena and the Knife Attack, Part 1

4 days later : Anna-Lena indicated that the previous session had been very good for her. She also reported that the first night after our session had not been too good “because of all the pictures standing before my eyes but the second and third night were much better than the nights before.” I asked for the neck and shoulder pain, and she reported having pain under her right shoulder blade and that this would always come when she was tired: “It starts when I get tired and radiates downwards…“

The pain had appeared the first time while she had a 10-year-long period of enduring stress after she had returned from the US back to the Netherlands. It was a time in which “I had to fix everything all by myself – you cannot imagine what happened all together.” I saved all this as information about previous exposures to bigger stress events (probably rooting in the earlier mentioned war incidents) and planned to get back to this later. I also noticed that feeling responsible for others still was a big item for her.

I next asked Anna Lena, “If there was a feeling that belonged to this pain – what could that be?“ and her answer was: “There’s something in my neck…“ And I continued asking: “Do you think about something specific sitting in your neck?“ Her answer – after hesitating for a while – was: “It’s the Russian tanks which are coming from the behind… We were taking flight in the war, coming from the east, being haunted by the Russian tanks …“ I decided to follow this track but not forget about the proper ending and testing for the Berlin knife attack.

Collecting information and additional modalities with regard to the “Russian tanks“: the flight of Anna-Lena’s mother, Anna-Lena (being 7 years old) and her younger sister in the automn of 1944. They left on foot, wearing homemade shoes from her mother. “We had to take flight very quickly;” her mother was fearing “the rapes.” My questions bring up that she doesn’t remember her mother talking about “the rapes“ but that a dark, heavy fear was covering everything and has encroached over from her mother to her, a feeling of “something dangerous is coming from behind“ and “I have these antennas.“ Anna-Lena can still see the Russian tanks and has to put off the TV when they show pictures of these: “I don’t want to see these tanks.“

Anna-Lena then draws the obvious connection by herself between the “danger coming from the behind“ of the Berlin incident (the knife attack) and the “Russian tanks coming from the behind“ when she was a 7 year old child on the flight.

We addressed the following aspects in connection with the Russian tanks:

these excessive demands… this complete helplessness… this fear in my neck… this fear from the Russian tanks…
this fear I absorbed from my mother… this fear… that is totally normal because a child is connected with her mother… this fear, which I overtook quite naturally in loving and feeling responsible for my mother and my little sister…
this responsibility I accepted… this responsibility a child takes for its parents… because it needs them so badly… and depends totally on them…
this big danger… I coudn’t do anything about it… it was not my fault…

this fear I froze in my neck… because I was so helpless and overwhelmed… and full of fear of terror… all this danger coming from the behind…
and I’ve done my best… under given circumstances- I survived… and I’m safe now…
this remaining fear of…

Like in the first session Anna-Lena again had big yawning onsets, occasionally reported cognitive shifts and that the tensions in her shoulders and neck were relieving…

I also love to work with the Inner Child and was thinking about making contact with the former Inner Child of 7 years. First I introduced Anna-Lena to the concept of Inner Child Work and then asked her wether she could imagine herself as this 7 year old she had been then. It showed up that she somehow had problems with imagining herself as a child and we addressed this: Even though I have problems somehow to make contact with the Inner Child I have been then… this is all so unpleasant for me… I love and accept all parts of me… and this 7 year old Anna-Lena… who felt so helpless and overwhelmed then…

A new attempt to address her Inner Child of this age brought up a memory of her being 6 years old, having long plaits on each side. She was allowed to hold a “Schultüte“ (German custom on the first day of school: children get a big cornet made of cardboard filled with a bunch of mixed sweeties) for the pictures taken and had to give it back afterwards. She didn’t have one to keep for herself because there was hardly anything available to eat, let alone sweets, this hurt the little child again so much…

Even though I cannot really perceive this 7 year old Anna-Lena… the little girl that I was then… I take my hat off to her… I deeply and completely accept and appreciate her… for achieving to save her life… she survived… and helped the adult Anna-Lena to be here… and through time and space… I send now… to the 7 year old I was then… a huge parcel filled with love… appreciation… respect… and tribute for her unbelievable achievements… she survived… and her mom and sister too… and I now send her this wonderful parcel… which she would have needed then… but that doesn’t matter now… I’ll give it to her now…

In the middle of the sentence I asked her if this was ok and she responded in a very pleased and highly motivated manner. I asked then: what does this parcel look like? She responded it being a pink parcel with a beautiful loop on it, “the way my mother always did“

… and by this I hand out this wonderful pink parcel full of love, respect and appreciation to you… and you may open it if you want…

is there something in it? (I asked)

Yes- (she responded):… golden light is coming out of it…

Can you see the 7 year old Anna-Lena standing there?

Yes… she’s standing in a dark room, which is filled with dark grey fog… and the golden light is spreading slowly and eliminating the dark grey wafting… it’s now in front of her… and spreading to the both sides of her body slowly…

Even though the golden, wonderfully sparkling and glittering light has not yet spread into all of the corners… I love this light and the 7 year old Anna-Lena I was then…

I felt my neck prickling and asked her if there’s been a change in her neck- and Anna-Lena confirmed: colour is a beautiful foggy light blue now in my shoulder and turning to a light grey upwards to the neck, “like fog lifting.“

Fear of tanks? Answer: SUD 2-3 now: “the worst is this uncertainty- not knowing which danger comes next“

Even though this memory of this uncertainty… is the worst… this uncertainty is still embedded into all my cells….. in my neck… and in my shoulders… and in all my muscles of my shoulders and neck…

… all these memories about this fear in all my cells… and I’m open to the possibility for these memories to leave me… if they want… I release them… if you want you can leave… I release you… all these remaining memories…

Anna-Lena pointed out that she’s feeling much lighter… about all these memories and discomfort she’s been carrying around since she was 7…

Testing: How do you feel now? Is it ok for you to release all these memories?… to be free of them?… How does it feel for you to feel different?… actually to be a different person? Do you feel scared?

No. This feels good!

Testing: And what about your family?

She hesitated:… I don’t know whether my sister likes me having changed…

Even though my little sister will probably not get along very good… with me being different suddenly… and me being lighter… and me being lively… and me not being so serious and responsible…

(and A. added:)… and I don’t have to be responsible for everything and everybody anymore!

I choose to know that this is her problem… and it’s ok for me not to feel responsible for everything anymore… I have earned this… and I’m open to the possibility to feel more and more… lightness and joy… and curiosity for all the beautiful things… I did not perceive… because there were all these tensions in my shoulders and neck… and that’s ok… I’m looking forward joyfully already…

We continued getting the SUD down referring to her concerns about her sister… she had several more yawning onsets and after the last round: these remaining fears… the tensions in her neck and shoulders were gone, SUD: 0, color: heavenly blue with sun shining through…

Anna-Lena gave a lot of feedback: she’s never been so relaxed before… she is totally impressed for not feeling a charge on the memory of the Russian tanks, she points out, that it has given her so much what we had done for the 7 year old Anna-Lena, she now feels tired and hungry. We arranged a feedback session for one and a half weeks later.

(end of Part 2)

Best wishes to all of you,
Cynthia C. Doll
www.eft-ccd.de

I’m a healing practitioner in Germany and have dedicated myself to working with trauma. During my own Personal Peace Procedure I became more and more aware of the impact of World War II (and issues connected) on generations living in Germany, first on the generation which now in a process of passing and who were young adults or youngsters in times of war (80-90 years old or older). Secondly, on the generation which spent the early childhood being confronted with whatever had to do with war (generation of those born approximately 1935-49). These experiences may have included being bombed and/or having lost homes, parents and/or families, being on the run for weeks, months, even years, watching victims or being victim of severe attacks on sexual integrity or life, nearly starving or freezing, being bullied in the new homes, etc. Thirdly, the impact on the daughters and sons of that generation (the generation I personally belong to as daughter of a German mother and an American father, approx. late 1950s-late 60s to mid 70s).

In my work with traumatised people, I experience that knowing about trauma and the effects on the body-mind-system plays a critical role for those who were traumatised. I discovered that reframing lies in the knowing how trauma affects us. You can so wonderfully weave into the Setup statements what is obviously not their fault because it’s only natural to protect oneself. You can explain in a simple way principles of how the body-mind system works in order to protect ourselves and what we can do now that the time is right to deal with it, once we’ve understood how dissociation works and how it drives people to act in certain ways. I’d love to encourage everybody who works with EFT to dive deeper into the issue of trauma. Please contact me for literature recommendations in German and English.

Anna-Lena

Anna-Lena (name was changed) found her way to me, referred by a friend of mine who had occasionally mentioned a patient with neck-shoulder problems, a survivor of a knife attack in a subway station in Berlin. Anna-Lena was born in 1937 in Germany and lived part of her life in the US and for many years in the Netherlands. Now, during a visit to Germany, she decided to give EFT a try — specifically for the knife attack which had occurred several months before.

One of the first things Anna-Lena said at the beginning of our session was: “I’ve seen some things as a child in times of war already…“ which I kept in mind as an important hint referring to possible deeper lying traumas. She was born in 1937 and had been 8 years old at the end of World War II. I also preframed for her that new events could trigger older events with possible traumatic impacts which have not been resolved. I told her she could stay totally calm if she felt something, a sign that her body was probably pointing out something it would love to solve and heal now finally. I told her she should just notice and check what she felt and perceived — to prepare for possible further work in a perfect way.

Anna-Lena had been attending an organised sightseeing tour through the Berlin Reichstag. The tour had extended over the originally planned time. She had been a bit annoyed about this making her late for an appointment. At last she found herself in the subway station, in a long tunnel heading for two opposite exits.

I started asking her about her physical intensities while she was thinking about what had happened:

pain and neck ache was — SUD 8
pain area a bit larger than her hand
dark colour, bad sleep, waking up several times at night,
cramping and thinking about the attack,
being highly nervous, etc.

After addressing possible nervousness about working on the case, she quickly was ok and eager to get working. We first worked with the Movie Technique, “Even though I had this knife attack, etc.” and then we started using the Tell The Story technique, working slowly and methodically through aspect after aspect, periodically working with and emphasizing the information that she was “safe now“ and “that was then and now is now.”

For example:

Even though I start getting a feeling of danger from behind … I choose to know that I am safe now …
Even though I feel this fear in my neck
Even though my inner voice tells me I should run
Even though I can’t run
Even though I feel like being frozen
Even though I go on walking but cannot run, etc.
Even though part of me wants to run and the other part of me feels like being frozen
Even though this is a totally natural process … part of me dissociates thinking it can protect me from danger
Even though … when animals freeze they can virtually be unable to move and this can save their lives because …
Even though part of me could not run and I kept on going towards the exits in front of me, I forgive myself for everything I have done or not have done … because I have done my best under given circumstances …

During this process of tapping, talking and weaving in 9-Gamut occasionally she reported several cognitive shifts like:

“I really believe that I’m safe now. This is surprising…”
She also had severe yawning onsets which literally forced us to take several longer breaks until she could go on.

We also addressed accepting the pain in the neck and accepting the messages her neck had for us:

fear and anger about this “weird … (crackbrained) … knife-attack … man … this a___ole who had once power over me but will not keep it!“

We ridiculed this man and laughed and reframed this, and she had another cognitive shift — claiming that this was very good, she was feeling so much better now.

When we came to the section of the attacker coming closer and nearly touching her with his knife, she initially reported feeling dissociated — like being “cut-off.” Re-integrating the principles of the Movie Technique we only addressed very generally “him coming closer… this dissociated feeling… knife on left shoulder“ each one for at least 2-3 or even more rounds, weaving 9-gamut, emphasizing her being safe now. We acknowledged the value of not being able to feel something as a normal physiological reaction during trauma. Her SUDs level then dropped, and she finally wanted to move on to “his voice on my left ear: ‘Don’t cry out!’“

With this we had several rounds as well and I also integrated testing by using different tones, accentuation and emphasis to make sure to reach every aspect possible belonging to the attacker’s sentence. I also checked smell, but there was no such perception.

In the next section of her “movie,” the attacker cut through the left band of her rucksack (which she had been carrying the other way round on her belly — apparently following official transit warnings). Next, her attacker jumped in front of her to snatch the rucksack, and she saw he wore a black mask. In that moment she awakened from her freeze and started pulling back on her rucksack. She finally let it loose and the offender ran away and upwards through one of the exits. We dealt with the aspects as they unfolded one after the other. I also took the chance to contribute to strengthening her resources and we pointed out that she, on one hand, woke up from her freeze, came into action and showed him that she wouldn’t make it too easy for him. However, on the other hand it was probably the best that she had not provoked him further and this protected her life. She was doing the best she could under the given circumstances.

The following aspects:

running on the street and shouting… nobody there first… then somebody coming out of a restaurant who called the police… endless waiting for the police . Our next reframe was that she was lucky her accounts were blocked in time and so she had no additional financial losses. Where are the police?! Stop-police! Where are you?! This was a perfect opportunity for playing with words according to a 20 year old German cartoon (Plop! Stolizei!! instead of: Stop! Polizei!!) which made her laugh…

She also had an inner talk with the offender in which she wished that he would realise what he had done to her. She committed him to search for healing for himself and help others to get over the effects of trauma.

Close to the end of the session, I asked her for the intensity of her neck pain: SUDs was down to a 4, the colour had become green. At the end of the session she reported being very relaxed and tired and it was obvious that she was too tired to go on for this day. We made an appointment for 4 days later. Although the neck pain didn’t come down completely, the improvement was obvious and she besides reported tremendous relaxation several times during the session.

4 days later : Anna-Lena indicated that the previous session had been very good for her. She also reported that the first night after our session had not been too good “because of all the pictures standing before my eyes,” but the second and third night were “much better than the nights before.”

(end of Part 1)

Cynthia Doll

Coming Soon: Anna-Lena goes into a deeper underlying trauma in “These Russian Tanks in My Neck.“

My client contacted me because she had become stuck working through a particular memory and the therapist she had been working with felt unable to work with her and that it might be better to work with someone more experienced.

The feeling she was left with was that her emotions about this event were “too much”. Therefore she did approach this session with a degree of skepticism that EFT really could help this very intense memory and emotion, but she was also very desperate for help and in her words “ripe” to work with the memory.

She was very aware of her memory. As a very young child her mother, whom she recognized to be seriously emotionally disturbed, tried to kill her. She reported memories when a black darkness came over her mother’s face and it looking as if something evil had come over her.

I began by asking her what it would mean to her to have freedom from this memory. She answered it would mean she could breathe. I then asked “If you could breathe what would that mean?” She started to cry and she said “I can live.”

I instructed her to keep tapping as she was quite intense at this point and evidently tuned into the feelings. She calmed down and I gently asked her to check her beliefs about living.

“I want to live” felt to be about a “5″, halfway between true and false. “I deserve to live” felt a “0″, not true at all. “I am allowed to live” felt a “0″ and once again she was very upset.

“How can I be allowed to live when my mother wanted me dead?” Again I instructed her to keep tapping as I repeated:

That happened, and it’s over, I survived, that was then, this is now, it’s not happening now. My body remembers a feeling and feelings can change and I choose to allow myself to transform that feeling somehow.

This allowed her to calm down again.

She started to tell me about a memory where her mother put her pillow over her face and she could see this event in the third person with her little hand scrabbling over the edge of the pillow. This is how she had been tapping on this memory trying to disengage from it but with no success. However as she talked she got more and more intense.

I decided to use one of my favourite metaphorical techniques to take her a few steps further back from this very distressing memory and invited her to imagine a box or a basket in which to put this particular “Mother tried to kill me” memory.

She imagined a wicker basket floating in a river. For both of us the idea of Moses in the basket on the Nile came to mind. From now on all the tapping phrases follow the path of this visualisation where my client’s subconscious mind now took over.

Even though this basket is floating down the river, someone may discover it I accept myself and all my feelings.
Even though the sky is black and the moon is shining on the basket…
Even though the sky is red, the sun is coming up; it’s a new day….
Even though the basket is not moving, it can’t go forward it can’t go back…
Even though I don’t want to leave my mother but how can I stay?
Even though part of me wants to stay and part of me can’t stay it’s too dangerous…
Even though I can’t go forward and can’t go back, this is an impossible situation, part of me really loves and needs my mother and part of me is so afraid of her, I need a miracle right now, there is no solution to this problem, I can’t leave, can’t go, what if there is a third way?.
What if I can go up, I wonder if I can go up, how will I go up? The answer from the client was, Perhaps God can help me, that’s what I need now, only a miracle can help me

She reported a sharp stab of anxiety at this in her solar plexus. I asked her to place her hand on it and be aware of its shape and colour – a clear orange segment-shaped piece of glass. What was this piece of glass trying to say? She answered that if my mother didn’t want me God might not want me either. This felt very true.

Even though my mother didn’t want me, she tried to kill me, I wasn’t good enough, what if God doesn’t want me either I choose to know the truth is…

(I just leave this as an open ended question to allow the client to bring up a reframe rather than making the mistake of pushing my own reframe during a vulnerable moment which can be intrusive and unacceptable)

The truth is my mother isn’t like God, my mother wasn’t God, my mother was sick, God can help me!
Even though the basket is rocking, something is trying to get out, I see a little hand coming out of the basket. Again tears and strong emotion which subsided as we kept tapping.
Even though that little hand is coming out of the basket, that brave little hand, reaching out for help, I really appreciate that little hand, that hand helped me survive…

There was a moment here of appreciation for this little girl who did survive the situation and had what it took to do so.

She said she could now see into the basket and the baby was grinning and reaching to be lifted up but she couldn’t lift up the baby…

Even though I am scared to pick up that baby, what if I can’t look after it, what if I hurt that baby, what if I am like my mother and won’t even know it until I have a baby, what if that evil is residing in me and this baby brings it out.

We did a lot of tapping around this fear and belief she had this blackness just like her mother. There was a deep sigh as she realised she was not like her mother and did not have this blackness. She then said “I need to visit this memory now, I need to help my mother, can I tap for my mother.”

I asked her how she would like to do this and she wanted to tap for her mother when she was asleep before the darkness came, as often she would awake from sleep and be in this black place. I asked her to imagine being outside the door. She was aware of her small child self being relaxed and keen but she was less so, as if the child trusted her more than she did.

Even though I am afraid to go into the room, what if there is nothing I can do to help?

She imagined entering the room and seeing her mother there lying asleep. Immediately strong feelings of compassion came up. We tapped as she spoke about the fact her mother had been under intense stress, so many difficulties for her, with no support at all. She imagined tapping on her mother, acknowledging all this pain and suffering her mother had been through and bringing her peace now. She felt deeply honoured to be able to do this and it felt very good for her.

After she had some time to absorb this peace and sense of forgiveness I then asked her to go back and imagine the baby in the basket. The baby was still smiling but there was a snake in the basket:

Even though there is a snake, a black and yellow snake, ready to strike, I can’t pick up the baby, the snake will attack me, I can’t help this baby it’s too dangerous.

She then reported the snake looking more relaxed and less ready to attack. I asked her to be aware of the purpose of this snake in the basket. She said it was part of her always ready to defend against good or evil, always on the attack, a very destructive part.

We talked a little of the function of the nervous system and how we need to be able to be ready for action when necessary so having a snake would not be a bad thing, but this snake did need time off.

Even though this snake has been on guard 24 hours a day trying to protect me, of course I needed a snake, I was a vulnerable baby with no protection, I really appreciate this snake. It has been keeping me safe, I choose for this snake part of me to know that I am an adult now, I have more resources, I can trust myself to know when I am safe or in danger and act appropriately.

This felt very good for her and she imagined allowing this baby part of her to nestle in her heart while the snake hovered above her heart available to protect her if necessary. She reported her breathing was much improved. I went back to her original limiting beliefs and retested and the statement, “I want to live,” was a full 10 now.
The other statements both felt about an 8 but she realised she needed to do some further work and felt more than able to now tap on specific parts of this memory as the memory was now not causing much distress at all.

I left with the agreement that we could work together again if she felt she was still stuck but I felt confident she did have the skills needed to deal with this effectively now we were past the most intense buried fears.

I received an email a few days later from her:

“I had the hardest time remembering much about the whole scenario. Like it was so far away and I couldn’t really get a hold of it, it just kept floating away, so that was wonderful. I had had 2 really hard weeks before I talked with you and suddenly I was just so light and just couldn’t remember all that stuff.

When I checked in today, I was a 10 on “I want to live” and “I deserve to live” but still only an 8 on “I am allowed to live”. So I did some more EFT on it and it suddenly struck me that I am totally allowed to live – otherwise I would have died back then! If I hadn’t been allowed to live, I wouldn’t have come back, I would have died! But I didn’t die – so clearly I am supposed to live; I am allowed to live. All that writing on my wall, as Gary says, is totally wrong. And now, I am a 10 on “I am allowed to live” as well. So, I’ll keep checking in and see how I am doing with that.
A funny coincidence is that this week I received my immigrant visa to Canada – it has been a 6.5 year process to become a permanent resident of Canada – and this was the week that I received my right to immigrate to Canada. A new start in a new country, where I am allowed to live.”

When I sent her this case study for approval her response was it felt like reading a sad story, but it wasn’t about her.

Hugs, Gillian

Can our very early existence, the time before we remember, influence our whole life? There seems to be no doubt about this in both the scientific and therapeutic communities anymore.

While I am always focused on the inner child or the young self when I am working on childhood trauma with EFT, I recently realized that I am very much tuned in to the baby self. It is absolutely amazing how alive these inner babies are – how this very early time can influence a whole life, and how EFT can heal a bad start into life in a profound way. I believe that inner child work always should include inner baby work.

Issues and experiences around conception, pregnancy, birth, and infancy have tremendous impact on our emotional wellbeing. If there was a disconnection from the mother, it almost always started right in the beginning. Of course, there are usually no conscious memories, but there are always powerful emotions – often triggered by the things our parents told us, or circumstances that might come to light later in life. For example, I had two clients who experienced intense sadness and pain about losing their twin before birth – and they did not even know for the longest time that this twin had existed.

Conception issues are not so much sexual (although they can be), but rather they are circumstances around that moment in time. For example, the conception being a “mistake”, illness of the mother, or physical absence of the father. In my experience, the two most painful and far-reaching issues are: “I was not wanted,” and “I was just a girl, they really wanted a boy.” The knowledge or just the inner knowing (parents don’t always tell us directly) of not being wanted, for whatever reason, always brings up intense emotional pain and the belief that there is something profoundly wrong with us.

Even though my mother thought of abortion when she was pregnant with me and that makes me feel devastated in the pit of my stomach…

Even though I was the 6th child that my father forced on my mother, and she just did her catholic duty, and that makes me feel sad and angry…

Being of the “wrong” gender is not really a gender issue. It installs a self-destructive belief system in a girl that often taints her whole life:

Even though I am worthless, and I should not exist…

Even though I am never good enough, whatever I do…

Even though I was a mistake, I was not supposed to be here, and I still don’t know what I am doing here…

Moving on to pregnancy and birth, we deal with specific shocking experiences, like dangerous health complications, a death in the family, or left behind in an incubator. Often, the physical and/or emotional separation from the mother happens right after birth. It is always perceived as heartbreaking abandonment by the mother even if there were rational reasons for it.

Then we spend loving, caring time with “Baby Marie”, “Baby Anna”, or “Baby Paul” (not real names). That is where the pain, and the hurt, and the desperation, and the anger often come to a peak. Intense loneliness, feeling powerless, hopeless, and a deep yearning for being held and touched are big issues.

I believe that it is important to give these babies a voice that they did not have when they were actually going through the experience. Once they are allowed to speak their truth through the now adult self, they are ready to be comforted and healed by this adult self. It is heartbreaking to see how little it actually takes to make a baby happy! And it is wondrous to experience how differentiated baby feelings can be. We don’t just want to be a “good” little girl or boy to please our mothers, we often start out by wanting to be a good baby.

Sometimes I use a little guided imagery to connect to a specific visual and emotional “snapshot” of the baby, and then we tap on every detail that comes up:

Even though nobody touches Baby Marie, and she feels desperately lonely in her crib, I am treating this baby with kindness and compassion.

Even though nobody even looks at Baby Anna, and nobody picks her up when she is left alone in the bedroom, I give this baby all the attention she needs.

Even though Baby Paul’s mother yelled at him in the kitchen when he was hungry and crying, I feed this baby with all my love now.

Just one session of EFT (not always tearless) focused on the inner baby can make a big difference. Usually it is not as dramatic as it was with “Kathy”: After just one session spent with her baby self, she felt great, lost the 10 lbs she always wanted to lose, and found the love of her life. However, most clients feel relief when the baby self has been acknowledged in a loving way and the adult self is ready to support this tender part with love and compassion.

Sometimes, there is a spiritual aspect to this work, and I love it when that comes up: Some people have a strong feeling of the radiance, beauty, joy, and unconditional love they experienced before their incarnation. If they find themselves in an environment that is loveless or even hostile, they go through intense, very painful feelings of being trapped in the womb, of fear and regret about coming into the physical world. They don’t feel safe no matter what, and a part of them is never “here”. When I ask them if they feel homesick, they are usually relieved to have found the right word for these strange feelings.

If we are spiritual beings having a physical experience, we should pay special attention to the transition into this world. EFT can put things right where they once went wrong.

Click here to read Scleroderma: EFT Offers Relief and a Sense of Empowerment – Part 1

My “scleroderma client” visited me here in the States for a two week one-on-one healing clinic – very intensive ongoing therapy where we met daily for a 5 hour session.

In our work I used some hypnosis with lots of EFT, also journaling and some Art Therapy. My client, because of his physical limitations, got tired easily with tapping, so hypnosis brought about quick changes in how he felt physically. Visualizations and healing imagery offered through hypnosis are great motivators.

There were some difficult moments during those intense 2 weeks:

• Doing 4 hours of one-on-one therapy daily with a physically restricted client, I had to find ways to make tapping possible physically.
• I also had to find ways to keep myself going on in “turbo” and not miss a thing.
• I had to “catch” my client when he was having an emotional breakdown, suddenly telling me “You can’t do anything anyway, nobody can help me, this therapy won’t change a thing” – and luckily I succeeded.

The following tapping phrases really saved the day. Whenever he felt stuck or tired, we did them; always with the result that his mood changed completely and he felt much better, emotionally and physically:

Even though I am completely healthy …. I can accept myself
Even though life is wonderful and complete …. I profoundly accept myself
Even though I have everything I ever wanted in my life …. I do accept myself the way I am…

… I am moving around comfortably … feeling at my very best …. never felt better in my life …. life is really good …. couldn’t be better for me ….nice hands … there is nothing I can’t do for myself ….. the sky is the limit! ….. I feel very strong …. I am extremely capable …. and I am well!

The day he left for the airport, he told me he felt “profoundly” convinced that he is going to get better; There were no doubts in his mind. The improvements in his physical symptoms were:

• The skin on his claw-like fingers seemed to become more flexible and elastic.
• The hardening of his esophagus and the resulting pain have gone completely.
• He has cut his daily meds to very low doses, two of them he only takes when needed for pain.

Overall the pain has decreased to mostly 1; his discomfort stayed there for most of the time. In rare cases it briefly went up to 4 or 5 level when emotionally or physically triggered; either by physical activities or and in the very first days, by outbreaks of depression.

We are now waiting for medical tests to be done. It was a precious experience. It’s amazing how much you can achieve when you see the client every day.

Final Follow-up: Stopping EFT and the Return of Physical Problems

I had not heard from my client for several months after he had been in Colorado Springs for two weeks of one-on-one therapy and went back to Germany in late August. He told me then he was “done” with therapy, including “all the tapping and advice” and would be fine on his own. After that he never responded to my e-mails until recently when I received a letter from him.

This man is now back to serious physical health conditions, things have gone back to where they were when we started his therapy. As soon as he was on the plane back to Germany his pain level, which had been consistently low for months, shot up into extreme heights and he was forced to again take his strong pain medications. Back home he had blood work done which showed high inflammation counts.

I am writing this report because this is a classical “secondary gain” case; it contains important facts that may give valuable and much needed information to other therapists, while dealing with clients with serious diseases. You can read all related details of his therapy in my earlier articles about Scleroderma including several follow-ups.

My client’s mental condition however has become and still is absolutely great.

In his letter he thanks me for the COMPLETE emotional well-being he is enjoying. He describes himself as emotionally balanced, always in a good mood now. He talks about “looking forward into the future optimistically.” He sold his business and enjoys financial independence. He plans on spending the cold months of the year in a warm climate, reading and doing many enjoyable things he was not able to do before while he was tied up in his business.

It is important to take a look at this client’s background to better understand the changes in this case:

He is a 41-year old male, divorced, lives alone, describes his family of origin (two brothers) as good. Had his own thriving stone-masonry business, employed several people. Over-achiever, no way to communicate feelings besides anger and rage, which he was feared for. Never felt good enough, constantly pushed himself further to achieve more. Sometimes aggressive expressions and behavior, analytical, critical thinking, difficult to communicate with during therapy, frugal with words and empathy for others.

He does not express himself willingly: “I’m not used to talking about my problems.” Trust has always been an issue, needing to constantly protect himself from “exploitation” by others, not easily convinced about anything. Has lived his life, always feeling he could never have what he really wanted!

One-on-one therapy with him turned out to be real hard work for me, mostly because of the unpredictability of the case development. Each day was different. Some days he refused to even look at the possibility that he could be well again or at least much better than he was.

His “skeptic”— his extremely critical part — was all over his dreams, the pictures he drew and made him refuse tapping. The “skeptic” insisted that “no human being can get out of my illness, it’s impossible, and no tapping will change that.” On other days my client was in a more receptive mood, he seemed to enjoy what we did and even had a peaceful way about him. Because he often was exhausted already in the morning, I used hypnosis many times to help him regain motivation and physical strength.

Looking back I have realized this type of therapy made it possible for him to finally find his inner voice, his core, that led him to understand deep down inside what he really, really needed. Coming back out of his increasingly deeper trances, he slowly started to be a different person, a more warm, caring and patient individual.

Obviously he came to understand and accept that his illness would make it possible for him to live in a different way than he demanded before. It may even have felt like the “door to a new kind of freedom” for him, including changes that would not have been accepted in his culture or by his family, if he would have regained his health. Those changes could have been to let go of his business, the work that he had invested so much energy into, just to have “an easy life without the hard work”.

By watching him becoming a more gentle, peaceful person, becoming more confident with his body and his outlook on life, I can still remember feeling that things changed into unknown territory during those last few days we spent together. He couldn’t wait to get back home, he obviously had found what he’d been looking for.

I am happy for him, reading that for the first time he likes his life and he enjoys doing what he chooses that he wants to do. It took me a while though; I had to battle my own demons that were telling me I had not done good enough work, not showed him more or better alternatives for dealing with his illness, not done who knows what. I had to do some tapping on myself. It was helpful to hear from my client’s father. His dad told me (I also had phone sessions with him), he has never seen his son as “alive and well” emotionally as now! He points out how my client has changed his attitude, how calmly he his making his decisions now. “There is a deep calm about my son that was never there before!”

This helped me understand that I did exactly what a good therapist has to do: to facilitate healing and empowerment, so that the client is able to make his own decision.

Love and lots of encouragement to all who have decided to work with seriously ill clients.

Baerbel Froehlin serves her clients from her private practice in Boulder, Colorado. She specializes in Acute Crisis Management.

My client from Brazil, Cynthia, a very creative and versatile woman, came to me last year to find some relief for her “love pain.” She had tried EFT by herself with some success, but she was overwhelmed as there were innumerable issues to handle, and she felt that we wouldn’t be achieving much even with EFT.

She was trying to get over a recent break up with her abusive boyfriend. She was prone to self-sabotage and toxic relationships; was depressed and had a challenging family situation. She wanted to go back to her ex-boyfriend despite the emotional and physical abuse that he had inflicted on her. She would frequently alternate between praising her boyfriend and then verbally abusing him in the sessions. She felt anger towards herself for wanting to go back to him. Guilt, shame, annoyance, frustration, anger and a sense of betrayal, were the predominating emotions.

She despaired that she would never get rid of this cycle of abusive relationships — as she had been in another abusive relationship sometime back. The desperation to go back to him was so great that she started carrying a list of reminders regarding why she should hate him, to prevent herself from going back to him. It was compounded by the fact that she had an abusive childhood.

After a couple of sessions, she realized that she enjoyed the domination and humiliation of an abusive relationship — as she confused it with love. She thought that her being beaten up as a child was her fault. We dealt with the family abuse in the sessions along with the love pain. There were significant cognitive shifts with regard to her family abuse and reduction in her anger but the love pain did not go away. The change came only after the two significant sessions. The following are details of 2 sessions worth of affirmations that brought about an enormous change in her “love pain” state.

Even though I want him to want me, I love and forgive myself. Even though I know it may not be good for me to want him, I love and forgive myself for wanting him.

Even though I want to take revenge from him as I believe I have an upper hand in our non-existent relationship, I love and accept myself.

Even though I wanna hurt him by making him love me again and then reject him, I love and accept myself and I want to accept that my want for him is based on avenging him.

Even though I wanna hurt him and I feel horrible for wanting to hurt him even though he hurt me, I love and forgive myself.

She felt very lonely due to the lack of a stable family background:

Even though I like being alone but not being lonely…

Even though I want to go back to my boy friend because I can’t be alone and I would prefer to think of him as a good man instead of remember all the bad things that happened in the relationship, I love and accept myself. I choose to remind myself that he may be a good man but that goodness was not there when I was with him.

Even though I feel guilty for him not showing his goodness, …

She felt very guilty about walking out of the abusive relationship. At the same time she didn’t want to lose him completely and was jealous of him being with someone else:

Even though I still feel guilty for treating him badly, I choose to understand that I was protecting myself.

Even though I feel guilty that I rejected him many times and now by rejecting me he is doing the right thing because I need punishment for rejection, because I deserve punishment, I love and accept myself. I want to understand that I was trying to protect myself from pain and I didn’t intentionally want to hurt him. However, I doubt if he was really hurt.

Even though I’m jealous that somebody else may get the love that I didn’t get, I choose to be grateful that I’m out of that relationship. I want to accept that I need a respectful and compassionate relationship. I deserve that.

Slowly and steadily through EFT, she was able to get a lot of her self-esteem back. Her wanting to go back to her boyfriend went away completely by the time we had finished our sessions. Sometimes when she feels lonely, she does miss him (which is natural), but she has started dating now and is looking forward to having a healthy relationship. We also worked on her money blocks and now she is working towards getting financially independent again.

Puja Kanth Alfred
www.emofreetherapy.com